I'll try to keep this short. Ever since I turned 13, I just started getting really depressed. one thing that hit frst was the fact I am a shy person. two, I couldn't do anything except draw crappy pictures. and at the age of 14 knowing my only talent would get me nowhere in life, i decided i would kill myself at 18 when i could buy a gun. I couldn't wait to die, but i did "live" somewhat of a life. i had some friends, a few girlfrinds(never gonna date again) but every "friend" as of last year pretty much turned on me. even though I was always, kind, supporting, loving, caring to everyone of them. it made me think, why even bother? Life is so cold. so now i'm 19, dont go to college, stay alone, at home still. I fell like I've failed everyone I know, and I'd be better dead.