Lost another battle.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AsphyxiateOnWords, Nov 15, 2011.

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  1. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords If you're 555, then I'm 666.

    It hasn't even been a day since he said he wanted to stop and he already wants drugs again. I tried to talk him out of it, but I can't make the choice to not use for him. Thus, I'm totally powerless.

    I sick of losing battles. I just want to lose the war and get it over with. But "things aren't that bad", he claims. When one says that they want to stop and then they totally disregard it a day later and this process happens every single day...things aren't just bad, they're fucking terrible.

    I have the chance to kill myself if I do it along with him. I wish something or someone would just grant me the power to go through with it already.
  2. breaking

    breaking Active Member

    I'm sorry you are having to go through this. My youngest brother had a drug addiction for quite sometime that we didn't know about. An intervention was what triggered being sober. I don't know how he survived his crack addiction. He turned his life around in some respects, but through all his alcohol and crack he lost 16 years with his daughter. Sad VERY SAD!

    When you are not part of the solution for him to clean up , it's very hard. We, as the co-dep person that stands by their sides are worn out, exhausted and torn up. If he can't clean up then you have to make up your mind to either leave for good or leave for him to clean up. It's hard I know. Watch the show Intervention for a few episodes. great inside on how to handle an intervention and what goes on. Have you tried an intervention with family and friends?

    I hope nothing I said has upset you. i'm here if you need to talk. Let me know and we can share personal information. I've been there.
  3. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    Hi Angels,

    Sometimes the caretakers need to recenter on their own needs, at least for a bit. From what you wrote, you seem pretty much at your wit end and maybe its time to get some support for yourself hun. Refocus on your own health so to speak. You would end up in a better position to help your brother. Is there friends or family you can contact, or some professional support you have access too? wish you well.
  4. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords If you're 555, then I'm 666.

    It's my husband, not my brother.

    I wish I could focus on myself but I'm too sick to bother.
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