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Lost contact

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#1
About 7 years ago when I was in college I made a really good friend at one of my part time jobs. He didn't go to the same college as me and was about 4 years older. I remember when we first met it was one of those instant connections that doesn't happen often. At our job orientation as soon as our eyes met we knew we'd be friends and we would always talk about that moment. We got close quickly and hung out all the time before I graduated and moved 2,000+ miles away. I went back to visit family and friends a year after I moved and we saw each other and hung out like old times. We didn't talk every day but we kept in touch, talking every month or so.

Some time on 2017 the calls began to be less frequent on his end with me calling him more often than he called me. A lot of the times we talked he sounded as though he were very high and out of it. After not hearing from him for a few months towards the end of the year he called me to tell me that he had lost his job and been abusing drugs but was trying to get clean. I was really supportive of him and was being encouraging about the rehab program he signed up for. For a few months we kept in touch like normal and everything was okay.

Then again, after a few months of not talking and him not answering my calls or texts I finally reached him at the beginning of last year and he did not sound good. The few times we talked he sounded either down and depressed or irritable. The last time we talked I was trying really hard to make conversation but he sounded distant and said he'd call me the next day and I have not heard from him since.

I've called both numbers for him, one is disconnected and the other is no longer his number. I tried every form of social media and even sent him an email. His last social media posts were around the time I lost communication with him last year. Unfortunately we don't even have any mutual friends. I even Googled him but couldn't find anything. There's nothing more I can do but I worry that I won't hear from him again. All I can do is hope that he's safe and okay.
 
#2
It sounds like you've done about all you can to try to find him. I think they have these people search things online, but I don't know how reliable they are, or if they are worth the money that they ask for them. I bet they are just putting info online that is available free elsewhere.

Even if you could find him, it's not clear that he wants to be found. Idk, maybe somebody at the old job would know?

It's too bad to lose a connection with someone that you related to so well. It's even worse that the reason the connection is lost sounds like it's because he is struggling.

I hope that everything works out. He's lucky to have a friend that cares as much as you do.
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
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#4
Sometimes people pop up after more extended periods. If he is heavy into drugs he may have no social media presence though and just having a really rough time. Not finding him on Google could also be a good thing because no obituary also. I hope you find your friend some times.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#5
Thanks for you responses everyone. @may71 I agree that those people finder websites probably aren't worth it. I don't have contact with anyone from that job and it was a while ago, about 8 years since we worked there. He might not want to be found which is okay because at this point I can't do much else but hope if he does see my messages they help in some way.

@Walker I had that same thought about there not being an obituary. That was actually why I Googled him. He was getting pretty heavy into drugs so that adds to the worry. I hope eventually I can hear from him again.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#9
Update: I got a message from him! I woke up to see that he responded to something I messaged him on social media back in March and I just cried tears of relief. This may be the only message I receive or he may take time to fully come around, but just knowing that he's still alive and saw that I reached out is enough right now.
 
#10
Update: I got a message from him! I woke up to see that he responded to something I messaged him on social media back in March and I just cried tears of relief. This may be the only message I receive or he may take time to fully come around, but just knowing that he's still alive and saw that I reached out is enough right now.
I didnt see this thread before, just read it now and really felt for you, it made me so sad, but seeing your update now- amazing! I'm so happy for you, what a relief ❤ hopefully he'll get back to feeling better and you can reconnect properly sooner or later ❤ I'm sure you will eventually. So pleased for you *hug
 

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