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Lost Dreams

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I've had a dream since I was a child ... a dream of having a family , with loving people around me , of being a wife and mother. (My childhood was one of physical , mental and sexual abuse , my first marriage I was battered , neither offered me the FAMILY I so longed for)

I dont wear rose coloured glasses , life is hard & a relationship can be hard work at times , but I just wanted the chance , you know

My 18 year common-law relationship ended two weeks ago , his choice , now he just wants to be friends ... after stringing me along with promises of marriage and children for all those years .... I was a moron for believing in him and trusting he would keep his word

Im 46 years old , no chance of ever having kids & no chance of ever getting married (who would want a fat blob with low self esteem)

So now im sitting here crying for a lost childhood dream :(
No Happy Ever After for me :(

total eclipse

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Staff Alumni
You find yourself another partner hun i know i have friends who have had children in their late 40 and they love it. You put yourself out there again and you find someone who has those same dreams as yours It is still possible hugs


Well-Known Member
I had similar childhood and first marriage experiences. My daughter from the first marriage still deeply resents me. I do not have any other children (I‘m about your age as well)…but I'm okay...

From reading your post of May 27 under “Hi”, I see you do have your daughter from an earlier marriage and two grandkids?

About money, maybe you are entitled to part of the property your common-law partner has?

It’s great that you love dogs. You can always have dogs in your life…

We cannot change the past. All we have is always the “now”. The future comes as now when we experience the “future”.

Our thinking pattern such as “if I have this or that, I’ll be happy” does not help make us happy. Quite often, when we have what we think would make us happy, we may be happy for a while, but not for long. After a while, we would feel a sense of lack of something else. (Statistics shows that suicide rate of lottery winners..it's a good deal higher than the rest of us. ...) If we can break this thinking pattern, we can be happy or peaceful regardless of the circumstances…

We do not have to get stuck with “low self esteem”, either. They are just thoughts. We are not our thoughts, neither are we what others think of us…

Here is a video clip you may find helpful:

Your Thoughts Make You Suffer ~ Eckhart Tolle

I feel that you may find his “The Power of Now” speak to you in a way. At one point of his life, Eckhart said something like this: "I cannot live with myself any longer." Then he surrendered to life and his life situation changed completely… (see page 8 of the PDF book below for the story)

Here is a link to free download of the book in PDF:


The book has helped me a lot. If you are interested, here is a forum for discussions, sharing experiences and questions related to his work:


Wish you well!
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