Lost & Empty - First Post

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ryannfq, Jan 8, 2015.

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  1. ryannfq

    ryannfq New Member

    First of all, thank you to the site for accepting me.

    I've suffered from depression & anxiety for as long as I can remember [I'm currently 32 years of age from Sydney Australia].

    I lost my mother almost 4 years ago [4th Feb is the anniversary] who was my rock, my best friend. She died of a heart attack in my arms on the Friday night that will forever be etched in my mind.

    My anxiety and depression spiked after this and whilst i'm on medication, I often find my mind drifting to giving up. I have good days and bad days. I see a therapist also but I find I feel myself feeling alone even with all the support I have from my friends and family and also my partner. She is always there for me, but I constantly feel guilty for feeling the way I do. It always gets worse from Christmas till the anniversary of mum's passing.

    I feel lost so often and I find myself wanting to leave this world, I know my mother would not want this, but I can't help these feelings. I need help.

    Ryan
     
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Wax on, wax off Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Sorry about the loss of your mum.

    You're allowed to grieve at your own pace. What about a grief loss support group talking about it with others who experienced losses in their lives?
     
  3. ryannfq

    ryannfq New Member

    This was reccomended by my counsellor just recently. I am seeking one out this weekend. Hope it does help.

    Sometimes it's hard, I was on the verge of suicide when I was 20 but I had 2 good friends who helped me out [without even knowing I was suicidal]. It's hard all my friends have less and less time to spare now because they have families of their own.
     
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Counselling will help you get through this tough time. I am saddened for your loss but keep posting for support. Remember it's ok to cry as it will help you to release the emotion your are currently suffering.
     
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