Lost & Empty - First Post

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ryannfq, Jan 8, 2015.

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  1. ryannfq

    ryannfq New Member

    First of all, thank you to the site for accepting me.

    I've suffered from depression & anxiety for as long as I can remember [I'm currently 32 years of age from Sydney Australia].

    I lost my mother almost 4 years ago [4th Feb is the anniversary] who was my rock, my best friend. She died of a heart attack in my arms on the Friday night that will forever be etched in my mind.

    My anxiety and depression spiked after this and whilst i'm on medication, I often find my mind drifting to giving up. I have good days and bad days. I see a therapist also but I find I feel myself feeling alone even with all the support I have from my friends and family and also my partner. She is always there for me, but I constantly feel guilty for feeling the way I do. It always gets worse from Christmas till the anniversary of mum's passing.

    I feel lost so often and I find myself wanting to leave this world, I know my mother would not want this, but I can't help these feelings. I need help.

    Ryan
     
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Sorry about the loss of your mum.

    You're allowed to grieve at your own pace. What about a grief loss support group talking about it with others who experienced losses in their lives?
     
  3. ryannfq

    ryannfq New Member

    This was reccomended by my counsellor just recently. I am seeking one out this weekend. Hope it does help.

    Sometimes it's hard, I was on the verge of suicide when I was 20 but I had 2 good friends who helped me out [without even knowing I was suicidal]. It's hard all my friends have less and less time to spare now because they have families of their own.
     
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Counselling will help you get through this tough time. I am saddened for your loss but keep posting for support. Remember it's ok to cry as it will help you to release the emotion your are currently suffering.
     
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