Lost Friend....

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by carbon monoxide perfume, Nov 14, 2007.

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  1. Dear Suicide Forum...

    I am not feeling bipolar at all, but today me and my friend got into a fight for no reason, hes my only friend, everyone I know in life is not my friend, they know nothing about me, so I open up to people online, and I considered him my only friend. I am a sociopath, I lack empathy, towards everyone, but for once I cared about someone, I "loved" someone, not romantically but in general. I experienced love, now I don't have it, I'm lost again, soon my depression will kick in, I'm sure I will be manic again, I don't know what to do... I have work soon that can keep my mind of things for a little bit, I just know I'm about to hit rock bottom. This is going to be a new low, I can feel it, the wave is just getting bigger and bigger, then it's going to come crashing down on me, taking me to the bottom of the ocean, where I will drown, alone!!! I don't know what to do anymore, I feel as if I am rambling on right now, I don't think anything anyone can do will make me feel better, It's like someone died to me... I opened up and get abandoned, this is why I don't open up, but if I don't I will die from the inside out, so it's a outcome that has inevitable pain. I know this can sound absurd how I experience love online and not in real life, O well I don't expect you to, I don't expect you to even comprehend anything I say. I am narcissistic, I'm a asshole, I derserve this? I don't even know anymore!!!!!
     
  2. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    That's not really absurd. I think it depends on the person. If you love people online, but not people IRL, doesn't that just mean that the people you know online are more lovable than the ones you know IRL? I live in a town full of overly conservative, narrowminded people... the only people I ever liked in this town were people who moved here from other places, with one exception. There are people online that I love that I've never even met. I don't think that's absurd at all.
     
  3. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    Mood swings suck. I know this because I've suspected that I'm bipolar for over six months now... it all fits...

    I can't tell you to fight the mania and the depression, even the mixed states, because I can't. What I can tell you that I do is I write it all out. I come here. And I know what it is like to lose your rock, the one person that keeps you holding on.

    And I agree with SoulRiser. It's not strange to love people online as opposed to IRL. I love many people online- most of them are members here.

    I'm here for a PM if you want to talk.
     
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