yeh, there ya go. After tonight I didn't just loose my Mother but also my Dad and Stepmum. Isn't that just great. I feel like doing one last thing for them. And that's gonna be the last thing I ever did. I'm so close right now. I'm so close to just sit out the day here and then when I leave tonight to go back home, never arrive at home. My parents would only find out through the Newspaper, IF it'd even reach the newspaper. I guess nobody of my family would find out for like... a month, maybe 2. I mean last time I left my parents place was with christmas and they didn't bother to call me or whatever after that either. Basically they've just shown me that all my hope was for nothing. All my hope for them to deep down care for me.. All false hope. RIght now I feel.. Devastated, hurt, lost.... I can't even describe it. All I want is to go to my Mother lay in her arms, crying like a baby. I guess life has just proven to me that there is no such thing as parental love. There is no such thing as caring for your children through good and bad times. There is no such thing. Life has won. I can't do it anymore.