Lost - I am so confused - Abused by the system - now where to turn????

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by answerstofind, Oct 21, 2014.

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  1. answerstofind

    answerstofind New Member

    I had been on vacation in Hawaii with my father for a particular reason - I needed to tell him I was at the end of my rope and suicidal - my sibling was as well and didn't want to devastate him (I am oldest - other is youngest). "dad I am so tired of being angry, of not being able to accept the past abuse of my alcoholic mother" I am going to put an end to my life, please don't despair, be prepared."

    After discussion I decided I would try a trauma center (referred to him about my youngest sibling) they had technology that may help me (Brain spotting, EMDR, etc. better than sit down and talk at this point... I felt confident!) I was diagnosed with PTSD from childhood abuse. I have two sisters who also suffer from this. I have tried counseling for years, been on antidepressants for well over 25 years.

    Well 6 months into treatment (paid in cash as no insurance) my therapist seems to turn on me. I had returned from a very stressful situation - most stressful in recent memory - I really needed to air this out with my therapist - AT this point I was "labeled" - I was called names - (I am not comfortable to name them here) So derogatory as if I was called a pedophile or a rapist from the very Dr treating me for PTSD. Had I been less stable <mod edit- methods> would have ended it precisely.

    Fast forward almost one year...

    It has been eating me!! I contacted this agency as a last effort to suicide - I made this clear to them with very explicit detail !!! I had to notify the owner of this organization. And I did just that, after almost 10 months I informed the business owner of what had "occurred" And wow - was I kicked in the balls yet again. "I and her supervisor will have a chat with so an so" that was the last I heard. No follow up - they new my background, suicidal!!! Wish I could prevent others from this pain of going to this place.

    So now I do not trust ANY professional - how could I !!?? I laid my guts on the table and look where it led me.

    Where do I turn???? Who can be trusted now??

    Legally It is my word against theirs - who will win - BET NOT ME!!!!! Would love to see what was written in my "report"

    SO what do I do? Who do I trust? ....<mod edit- methods>....

    fucking seriously
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 21, 2014
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry you find yourself being ignored by somebody that you went to for help and even hurt by them instead of helped. To be honest, I cannot really understand what transpired by your explanation. Every state has medical review boards and standards boards however that you can ask to investigate into medical issues or unprofessional treatment. Also , when the insurance boards open up in a couple weeks you probably should look into getting insurance as what you are describing sounds like a very expensive procedure that likely would pay for insurance policy of a year. If you get the medical review boards involved it is not impossible to get your money back if you paid for a course of treatment and they did not complete it.
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