Lost In Secrets

[Nothing I Can Do.]

Talking...not sure I can ever find the words, is there a point to finding them anyway? Wish i could break the silence, wish I could talk about it. Although the more I talk, the more I realise how pointless it is...

Time...funny how life is dictated by such a small thing. Days, weeks, years, its all the same....We measure every waking moment by the time, but are we cheating ourselves. I often think we are...

Plans...So many little plans on pieces of paper, so many ideas that get lost, forgotten, rediscovered, and lost all over again. Sometimes I find myself with boundless energy, and then reality sets in and I know better. Thats how planning works.

Secrets...Nobody knows, and nobody will ever know the thoughts that go on inside my head. Nobody wants to hear the truth, I dont want you to know the truth. Truth is pain, and no matter how you sugar coat it...the taste is awful. There can be no joy in telling it, or knowing it.

Possibilites...Endless possibilities, endless horizons. Powerful, beautiful and unique experiences can happen when we dont hamstring ourselves. Its comfortable following the norms, no challenge at all, but as a result we miss out on what could be something wonderful.

Love...What a word it is. Your heart sings and drops as it pleases, no notice, no foresight, just take it, or leave it, thats the attitude of love. Is it love, when no matter what people do or say, you just want to hold them. Is it love when you dream of the possibilities, when it looks hopeless. Is it love when, given all the obstacles, all the distractions, and the full knowledge of failure is all but guaranteed...you simply cant get it out of your head? Is it love when the sound of somebodies laughter makes all the pain go away?

Im lost in a world of secrets, and the truth isnt for me.

 

[here]

who is it you are afraid to tell the truth to??

 

[Fatman1966]

I've spent a long time living with secrets, not little ones, but huge big ones, the srangest thing about that, is that, for a long long time the person who I was keeping these secrets from was myself.

Speaking the unspeakable, hearing those words, even if your are the only one that hears them, can be a help, it might not change anything, it may well not make any difference at all, but untill you can be honest and truethfull with yourself, how can you exspect anyone one else to understand, if all you can tell them is built on lies, smoke and mirrors.