Hah. A friend of mine (eye-achingly gorgeous) was getting closer to me a bit last year, inviting me to her home, meeting with her friends, but kept giving me confusing signals (like "selling" me a female friend of hers that might meet us at a dinner at another friend of hers - and then proceeding to ignore me during dinner when her friend didn't show up). Oh well. I had my fantasies with her, but was never able to make a step towards her. Like with everyone, I'm afraid of wrecking what little I have for the possibility of taking the next step. Also, she works with me, and that's another can of worms... She's got a brand new boyfriend now. Why can't I move on? Why can't I realize that I've already done the rounds of every girl I know and found out that nobody is interested, so I need to find and meet new people? Why is meeting new people so goddamn difficult? It seems no one ever has room in his/her life for me or my needs. I feel so worn out. I can barely breathe, it's coming shallow.