Hello. I've had this account for a while but not posted here for years as I was active on another forum, which I have since left. I plan to stick around here and meet some friends. A month ago, one of my closest friends (I'll call him Harvey) died unexpectedly. He was very ill but his sickness was not supposed to be terminal. Harvey was 36. It was not suicide but his death was ruled by the coroner to be related to cirrhosis of the liver due to alcoholism. Yet he had not had a drink in six months, partly due to another serious medical condition he was dealing with. Since his death, I am shattered. I sometimes wish he could have taken me with him. I do have a wonderful husband and a couple of other friends, but I feel so lonely without Harvey. We were like family (I called him my little brother and he called me his big sister). We had very similar awful childhoods and both struggled daily with depression. It was a long-distance friendship but I knew him for 7 years. We would text daily and talk via Skype for hours each week. Harvey was suffering a lot with his medical condition but was hopeful since getting a diagnosis and treatment plan. I was fervently hopeful he would get better and be able to enjoy life again, and one day have the great life he deserved. Instead, he died. I hope beyond hope that he's in a better place.