I always have had that ounce of hope that tomorrow will be different, that things do change one way or another, that my own free will plays some role in my life, that the pain cannot last forever. I think I am wrong. In fact, I know I am wrong, at least for me. The hope is what is dying, withering away and I know once that is gone, what's left of me will be gone too. It feels like it is only a matter of time now, everyday I lose a little more, every hour becomes that much harder. I am taking medication, go to therapy four damn times a week, exercise, try to do things that make me feel good, but there is only darkness, it always comes back around and swallows me up.