Lost my job today!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jacob1973, Jun 13, 2009.

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  1. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    I saw it coming for months, and prayed it wouldnt happen, but it finally did! I lost my job today! I am so incredibly depressed, and quite frankly just don't know what to do! I have a mortgage and a truck payment, plus many more! There is no way for me to find a job that would pay enough to makeup for the job I just lost. I have no idea how I am going to pay my bills on the 1st of the month!

    I just want to cry, but have basically lost all my feelings altogether. I feel numb to the point of exhaustion! I feel like suicide, but just don't even feel like it anymore. I just want to crawl up in a ball and die!
  2. SunFlower

    SunFlower Member

    Hey. Im sorry that you lost your job, it sounds hard a the minute but im sure they'll be a solution to the money problems. (I know that probably doesnt help though)

    Have you got anyone, mates, family etc who could help you out?
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hiya, Jacob. I can relate to the circumstances. It can be a rough hit on the ego and in tough times, the frustration of a tight job market can make us feel like there aren't options. But there are always options that can help us change things for the better - without offing ourselves or hurting ourselves.

    First, take heart! The world economy is in a recession right now. That means that you are one of many people this has happened to, and that means that it was likely a business decision and nothing personal against you or how how you perform at work.

    Second, it's a "loss" - It might be an idea to take some time to "grieve" the loss and figure out what this loss means to you beyond the financial aspects.

    Third, I'd recommend you make a budget that includes all expenses you've been paying for for the last six months. Look at it carefully - Are there things you can cut out or cut down on. (For example, daily morning lattes from Starbucks at $3-4 each day are out for me now. That's between $60 and $80 a month extra I can put to "must pay" bills. Are there things like that you can give up for a while?)

    Fourth, perhaps assess your skills and interests. Ask yourself if you are you looking for the right job or type of work to flourish and really love your work. Do you have a long-term career goal? Is that even important to you?

    Fifth, perhaps you could take a temp or contract or part-time job while you continue to look for the full-time job. It's hard to do that, I know (boy oh boy, do I know) - but if you can, it can be good to keep moving and doing things. Employers seem to like "busy and/or employed" applicants. Even if the applicant is not full-time employed, they like to see them taking a course or doing volunteer work, or temp work.

    Sixth, you could assess your debts and figure out the total debt load you owe. Each month you could pay some down on all the debts. If you do that, one thing people recommend is to pay the most to the debt that has the highest interest rate, as it is the one that accrues the most interest if it's not paid down.

    Seventh, it might be a good idea to get some professional advice with how to manage the debts you're carrying. Your region may have non-profit debt/credit couseling available for this. Your local government employment office can probably direct you to people/orgs that are in that field.

    Above all: You've already shown you have lots of courage just by coming here to SF. I'm glad you did that! Use your courage for changing your situation and moving through the tough circumstances. You have made it this far, so keep plowing on. Even though it sometimes seems like an overwhelming issue, it's doable if you look at it as smaller steps within the whole.

    Keep in touch with us! You'll find lots of people who will relate to you and who will be happy to offer you moral support. Take care and stay safe!

    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 13, 2009
  4. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    I got family, such as parents, and my brother and sisters, but they are all in such dire financial hurt themselves right now! Yah, my mom has basically told me that I can move back in with them, but at 36 years of age and still single, its feels like I have failed in life and am crawling back to my parents! They are poor health as it is. Yah I realize the pain my suicide would cause them, but I just dont know what else to do!

    I am going to try to do something on monday, but I just dont know where to start...

    It is more than just my job. Certainly its a major issue, but is far far more than that! I seem to have failed at just about everything in life. I have never had an adult girlfriend. Heck, Ive never even been kissed, and am even still a virgin at 36! I see my friends and their wives, and I have to turn away when I see then hugging, kissing, etc. Its just too painful! I feel incredibly fat, which is why I feel that I have no girlfriends! People tell me that Im not necessarily fat, but i know that I am 30lbs overweight! I cant even look at myself in the mirror anymore! The more I think of it, the more isolated I become.

    I have failed at 5 different colleges! Yah 5! I have probably over 140 credit hours with no decent GPA and no degree.

    I failed at my two attempts in the military!

    I might eventually be called back to the job that I just loss, but I absolutely hated it! I worked sometimes 80-100 hour WEEKS and never had time to even try to date women! The more I think of that, the more I hated my job! But that being said, it really paid very very well!

    I basically either stay up all night and then crash to sleep, or if I can, I simply cry myself to sleep! I doubt anything could be done, and if I go to seek a professional, I would never be able to go back to my old job when they start to recall us back to work! So simply said, I am screwed up with no reason to go on living!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 13, 2009
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    To help financially, get signed up for unemployment. You should qualify for those benefits. It isn't the same as you were getting, but it may help to tide you over while you look for something else. Why would your employer have to know if you sought professional help in dealing with your current issues? It does not mean you are in any way unstable. And your medical issues do not have to be made public.
    I am curious as to what happened in the colleges and military Did you opt out?
  6. KJAB

    KJAB Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Jacob. Shit to lose your job. And seems like this has triggered off 'other stuff'. Now, you feel like a failure in lots of other areas of your life'. But did you feel a failure BEFORE you lost your job? Maybe a little, I dunno, but certainly not as much as you do now, I bet? Look, I KNOW, I'm FUCKED financially with little or no hope of every being financially free - losing work for me has meant a bag load of meds to keep me going - BUT you sound like you've got support from your family. TAKE IT. you sound like you have the energy to pursue the search for a new job - any job TAKE IT. DON"T write yourself off as soon as you lose a well paid job. you might be called back to your job? That's enough to keep going maybe work a low paid job until you settle down a bit? Maybe, if you can't cope on your own, talk to a counsellor or a doctor. You've got hope. USE IT.
  7. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry :hug: PM if you want
  8. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    I lost my job last August so I know how tough it is right now. Unemployment helps but not it's not enough. I'd move back in with your parents if I was you, at least until you are able to get your finances back in shape.
  9. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    I dont know what I will do. My life is pretty much in pieces, and as my friends basically just reenforced this with what they just said to me...
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