Lost so much..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by brokenheartnsoul, Nov 5, 2011.

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  1. brokenheartnsoul

    brokenheartnsoul New Member

    I am soo depressed it's insane. 14 year relationship down the drain on june 4th 2010 my daughter was taken then when I took her to court i lost her to a dna test coming back as she wasnt mine this summer. And All I ever wanted was a child.. I went to counseling and got somewhat okay by nov of last year.. then I met someone on feb 9th of this year and she has five kids. We were amazing.. then her own personal problems took control and I fought for her and got her back to normal 4 months ago. But like my last she cheated and was out of control and it messed me up being that Im a loyal soul. So I took it out on her and was a complete jerk. Now I screwed up and it ended a couple weeks ago. She just told me tonight that there is no chance for us. Her lil ones considered me dad.. We fell so hard in love and Im so broken. It was amazing and I feel so lost. She wont tell me she doesnt love me anymore so I had faith until tonight when she was soo mean and so evil when I tried to only make her life easier with so many kids. Its hard to breath without the one that I feel I love more than the one I was with for 14 years. 9 months. moved in together after two weeks. I just was so hurt by what she did I held a grudge. Now I feel there is no hope..
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome. The loss is so new that it is no wonder you are feeling as you do. It sounds like your gf who cheated on you did not have the same notion of loyality. That is a wonderful trait, and I hope you do not change, but find someone worthy of it...please keep posting and telling us what is going on
     
  3. brokenheartnsoul

    brokenheartnsoul New Member

    The one Im in love with now doesn't seem to want to give it a try again. That is what is killing me. I know she still loves me.. I know she is just scared and I don't know how to fix it. She is pulling away and it's pointless to try and kill what we have since it was soo deep and real. It's not exactly that you find love like this again. It was special on both ends and she blames me for ruining her dreams of being with me. It hurts more and more each day we are apart.. is it true the heart grows fonder while your away or is it really out of sight out of mind?
     
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