Lost Soul

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by concreneangel76, Mar 13, 2013.

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  1. Lost Soul

    You pass me on the street and out eyes briefly meet.
    You hold the door open for me as I enter behind you.
    I say thanks, but you have no idea that my mind is blank.
    In the elevator you crack a joke, I flash a smile,
    you have no idea that my heart is in denial.
    You ask me how my day was and I say fine.
    You have no idea that my brain and I are arguing to if I should cross the line.
    My happiness is gone as I walk in this world.
    The thoughts in my head have me wishing I was laying in a cold dark hole.
    Once you lose your soul there is no turning back.
    Everything you once dreamed of no longer has an impact.
    You don't want to love nor do you want to have fun.
    Your days are so long the problems in your mind make you question if you should carry on.
    You smile so that's what people see on your face,
    they think that you are happy but deep down inside you feel like a worthless disgrace.
    Each day the performance you put on for people is Emmy award winning,
    But you question yourself and wonder if you act is just a way for you to hold off your own internal sinnings.
    When you wake up from a night's sleep you wonder to yourself if today is the day your heart will be back to it's old self or will it still be skipping every other beat.
    You wonder if things that once made you happy to be alive will make a comeback.
    You wonder if the little things in life that made you who you are will have you once again dreaming to the stars.
    You wonder if you will feel less empty hearted.
    You wonder to yourself who holds the match to start that fire.
    You're tired of running and losing your breath.
    You want to hold tight to something that will help you once again enjoy the journey into lives amazing treks.
    You want to feel that every day can be better than the last.
    You want to turn your lost soul feeling into a thing of your past.....

    @copyright 2013 Jennifer
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 13, 2013
  2. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel SF Supporter

    Hey - from one "angel" to another: I really like what you wrote here. The subtext of emotional isolation in your words is a struggle I think we can all relate to.

    I also liked the reference to the Emmy Awards. For years I have been waiting for my Oscar!
  3. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    Thank you for sharing this work. I am touched by the emotion and your illustration through words. Does writing help some when dark feelings loom? Please continue sharing your work. ♥
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You write so clearly you pain and sadness hun I hope that you do have support and help to pull you out of that depression that darkness so you can regain your soul. It is never too late hun and your soul can mend it can h un Keep talking to us ok we are hearing you and we care hugs
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