A lonely start in life has led to a descructive and lonely path. An abuse victim so desperate for love means a self descructive button is permently on. Life has dealt a terrible hand and it's led me to believe I was put on this earth simply to be an abuse victim. Giving my heart and soul as well as material belongings has left such a hole in my heart. When mum passed away eight years ago I was so consumed with hate. I always wanted an apology from her before she passed. This past eight years my Faith hasleft me. My heart is empty. My family, albeit step father, and their three children turned their back as soon as she was gone. My children have now left home. Im jobless, no money, homeless. I receive no help. I have noone to talk to. I hate waking. I wish I could close my eyes and sleep forever. I give my all including my Heart. Hope has gone. Exhausted from crying all the time. When will help be at my hand???