How do I deal with something like this? How do I deal with the crap that's taken me over, the blackness the fear the pain the rage that awful awful drop into god knows what. I took a risk, I believed someone, I trusted, I started telling them things about me, things I should have shut up about. And I never even got as far as being heard, they walked out on me. And if I were normal I could come up with a dozen reasons why. Only I'm not normal, all I'm feeling is that I've been set up, deliberately, to make me feel like this. And I can't handle what's going on in my head. All the old paranoia only I don't know that it's not real. How does anyone ever know what someone else's reasons are, where the hell do you guys get your certainty? How do you believe and trust and know you're right to? I'm feeling so bad, so spinning out and I know I'm just going to feel worse tomorrow and it's scaring the hell out of me. And there's no-one around and that makes it worse because all the gibbering voices in my head are having a real field day right now and that's why I'm posting here because I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking it's ALL a set up, this whole thing one big set up. A sane voice would help a lot.