Lost the plot

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Tam, Nov 1, 2009.

  1. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    How do I deal with something like this? How do I deal with the crap that's taken me over, the blackness the fear the pain the rage that awful awful drop into god knows what. I took a risk, I believed someone, I trusted, I started telling them things about me, things I should have shut up about. And I never even got as far as being heard, they walked out on me. And if I were normal I could come up with a dozen reasons why. Only I'm not normal, all I'm feeling is that I've been set up, deliberately, to make me feel like this.

    And I can't handle what's going on in my head. All the old paranoia only I don't know that it's not real. How does anyone ever know what someone else's reasons are, where the hell do you guys get your certainty? How do you believe and trust and know you're right to?

    I'm feeling so bad, so spinning out and I know I'm just going to feel worse tomorrow and it's scaring the hell out of me. And there's no-one around and that makes it worse because all the gibbering voices in my head are having a real field day right now and that's why I'm posting here because I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking it's ALL a set up, this whole thing one big set up. A sane voice would help a lot.
     
  2. TaraB3ar

    TaraB3ar Well-Known Member

    I'm not entirely sure what you are talking about, but i can tell you that it took me getting very hurt by someone to realize that I dont need people like that in my life. I dont bother trying to get someone to like me or treat me better or anything if they're not good for me, dont bring anything good to my life then i dont need them. I cut them off right there. So if someone walked away from you then you dont need them, you should surround yourself with only those that care. anyone else doesn't matter.

    and really what is normal? is anyone 'normal'?

    I hope with whatever has happened, things will get better for you. I wish you the best :)
     
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Are you internalizing this experience? Anger turned inwards? How about, "that low down, good for nothing @^($^@@ that walked out on me is such a #*^)*$ and I am so angry!"

    That was real crummy for that person to do that to you. I am angry that someone did that to you, my friend. That person has no clue about life and people.

    :hug:
     
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Would love to help ya hun but you asked for a sane voice (lol). Ya've always got us, we're here whenever you want to talk or vent or cry or scream. And especially if you want to throw things cuz we wont be within fall out range (lol). Tam, I dont know who did this, but you deserve better than that. Anything I can do to help you understand it better or whatever... I owe you a big one!!!!!
     
  5. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Thanks so much for the replies, Tbear, Chargette and Itmahanh - seeing your replies has brought me back to reality (I think!). Feel a bit stupid to be honest having posted it, but rather lost it last night, didn't understand anything anymore. Not so sure I understand anything anyway. Just me getting lost inside my head. Thanks again, it has helped :smile:
     
  6. sammakko

    sammakko Banned Member

    When you tell one whole village laugh back on your back tomorrow.
     
  7. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Yeah Sammakko, that's what it felt like, that's why I posted - sometimes better not to believe the stuff in my own head.
     
  8. kemistry

    kemistry Well-Known Member

    Saneness or insanity..let it out, and don't feel stupid or regret afterward, it's okay, if you can put them into words, write them, for yourself not for anyone else. We all have our own battle to fight and I'd also believe that users on SF aren't the ones to laugh at another person's struggle.

    We don't have to be brave all the time.