lost the words

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Wastingecho, Oct 27, 2013.

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  1. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    can't do it any more

    can't find the words to describe the feelings any more

    don't believe anyone would listen if i did anyway
     
  2. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    sometimes you don't need words, its okay just to say that you are in rough place. And I'll listen as I'm sure others will here.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I will always listen ok and i have also lost my words i am sorry you are so sad hugs
     
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I know I don't have the words that can take the pain away, but I'll always listen and always care. :hug:
     
  5. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i'm just...

    lost...

    and alone...

    don't want to fight anymore
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are lost in sadness i get that but you are not alone ok
     
  7. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    spending too much time i don't have hiding trying to pull myself together when i just want to completely break down

    alone on the train - alone at work - alone at night - lately even the cats won't come near me

    just want someone to acknowledge my existence otherwise what is the point of going through all of this pain?

    but i'm afraid

    afraid i don't know how to react to people any more - 25 years and no friends at work or at home - have no where to go
     
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I know you're afraid. :hug: I hope you'll at least consider reaching out. Not everyone will push you away; not everyone will hurt you or let you down.
     
  9. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    driving home - intersection

    saw the car coming right at me running the light

    i gave up and never hit my brake - not sure how they did

    i was ready to go

    just don't want to take anyone else with me
     
  10. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    we love you here.
     
  11. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    my heart doesn't believe that

    not worthy of it
     
  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What Jxdama said is true. And you ARE worthy of it.
     
  13. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    NO I"M FUCKING NOT

    fell asleep at 8 on the couch the other night - wife was tired of looking at me sleeping and told me to go to bed - didn't want to deal with the looks so i did

    last night she tells me that my snoring was awful keeping her up until 4 and that maybe we should have separate bedrooms

    would gladly do so at this point except, oh right, we moved everyone around the house so that her sister could live with us

    i'll be moving my things to an upstairs couch - slept on it before when i was sick so i know it will work if the cats don't jump on me in the middle of the night

    my isolation in my own home will be almost complete - isolation, but not privacy - forced to hide inside my own head

    one act - just one fucking act and i can leave everything behind - haven't had a drink or gotten drunk in decades - need to numb myself
     
  14. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    No words really, just know I care.
     
  15. Maedchen

    Maedchen Well-Known Member

    Dear Wastingecho,

    I am with you in my thoughts. Although we are strangers to each other, please know that our isolation can be escaped by meeting here and talk together.
    Please don't throw away the opportunity of a better future by not living it. I know how you feel, believe me I know.
    Yet I also know that often something so unexpected can happen, that present circumstances are suddenly changed. Things happen, of which nobody would have thought in a dream.
    I believe in God's ability to change every despair into joy. Even if you can't believe that, I beg you to wait and see.
    I would much like to wait together with you. Please pm me, if you like.

    Much love, Maedchen:redrose:
     
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