Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Hines2009, Apr 21, 2013.

  1. Hines2009

    Hines2009 New Member

    I don't know what to do. I don't have a job right now because I have 5 days of chemo every 4 weeks and my mom is fully suporting me financially because I'm not in a relationship and don't have any savings. I can't find a job because of the chemo but my mom is so hard on me emotionally that I don't know where to turn. If I didn't need her financially I would never talk to her again. She's one of those people that thinks money shows love. She has hurt me so bad throughout my life that there's a wall I can't get past to even care about anyone. I have cats and I feel so much love for them that it almost hurts but as much as I want to I can't feel anything for people. I'm so tired of being hurt by her and I don't know what I can do to get away from her because if the cancer. I'm tired of being hurt and don't know what to do or where to turn.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry for the situation you find yourself in. You said you are not working right now because of this - if you worked previously you very likely qualify for either short term or long term disability. I will PM you a link to the disability guidelines for your location. Adding your own financial sources will help you separate that need from your mother and give you back a little control of one aspect of your life hopefully.
  3. Hines2009

    Hines2009 New Member

    Thank u very much for the information. U r right that if I can get some financial relief I will hopefully b able to get away from the toxic relationship I have with my mother. I really appreciate ur response cause sometimes it is hard to find sincere people on the Internet. I felt very lost and it does help to feel like I matter. Thank u again!
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hines...to think anyone would put an extra burden on someone who is going through what you are going through, especially one's 'mother' is so mean...try to hear her as chatter and feel blessed inside, that although you feel depleted financially right now, it is she who is depleted morally...I am so sorry you feel trapped by someone who is so abusive...hoping the financial information is a start towards more control and that your treatments are quite successful...when (note I did not say if) you are cured from cancer, and get back on your feet again, I am sure you will use your resources wisely (maybe even pay for therapy for your poorly toilet trained mother)
  5. Ms_invisible

    Ms_invisible Member

    I understand what you're feeling on some level ... First of, try to set yourself a goal in life again which you like to achieve. Maybe get yourself a hobby? If you can't get to work try to do something at home or something which doesn't take a lot of effort and where u meet new people. Most important rightnow is that you heal and that your mom gets the brains to stop hurting you. You're not alone. Don't keep all of the hurt you have inside, let it out, try to talk to people. It's ok to care for someone else. And I'm sure people care about you, more than you think there do. Those who actually answered your message care, I care about you even not knowing you and hope you'll find yourself strenght and get a ray of sunshine after a cloudy storm. Chin up and hugs! Keep strong! xx