I feel so lost and alone. I feel like a bird singing the same song everyday. A dog taking a walk around a park at the same time every morning. I feel so lost and alone. I am cold on the inside useless and worthless I am crying out for help on here and in real life. I have told my parents I am going downhill. They don't seem to notice. I am terrified beyond belief. There is no help here. My psych is in China. No help here. Sf is my home, yet hurts I feel alone surrounded by others. I feel misunderstood, looked over. Because sometimes I cant jump into a conversation I get left out. I know all of this is my fault. I know that this is my sickness Yet what can I do? I can only cry out so much so often before these cries fall on deaf ears. as they do. I think of a song in my head hearing it over and over again "Lost and broken, hopeless and lonelySmiling on the outside, and hurt beneath my skinMy eyes are fading, my soul is bleedingI try to make it seem okay... but my faith is wearing thin." I wish I had the help I need to get better, but I dont know what help this could be. The help I have gotten has not served me, I am the same as I have been. And always will be?