Lost

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 772STi, Mar 20, 2014.

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  1. 772STi

    772STi New Member

    Hello I've never done anything like this before, my name is bobby and I feel like giving up. I'm from 3 generations of suicide my great grandfather, grandfather and father none of them lived passed 36. In my mind suicide has always been an acceptable way out. I've been on ad's since 13 after I lost my father but lost insurance about 6 months ago so no more of that. I've been with my wife since we were 13 I'm now 27 we have one son he's 3 years old. Ever since our son was born I have felt the love between us fading and 3 days ago we finally called it quits. I have know its coming but didn't think it would be so hard I haven't ate or slept in days or been to work. I can't image doing custody swaps in gas station parking lots and my son having two sets of parents. I feel it would be easier for my son if i was gone he would not remember me and he would have a normal family not two sets. I tried to kill myself when I was 16 I remember going to sleep and how peaceful I felt, I've been craving that feeling. I'm just lost I don't know what I'm going to do now its to much to deal with I just want to go to sleep. There's so much more I could say that's happens to me over my life including finding my father dead when I was 13. But I just don't want to wright anymore. Has anyone ever been through similar circumstances? If you have how did you make it through? Thank you
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi,

    A friend of mine found his mother, after she took her life, and he was about 10 when it happened. So although it hasn't happened to me personally, I can imagine some of what you're going through because I know what he's gone through.

    I hope you can find the strength to break the cycle and continue to fight for your son. When I read your post, my first thought was that if you follow that same path, the chances are high that your son will, too. But if you break the cycle and do your best to get through this, your son will grow up having his father in his life. Even though he's only 3 now, he still needs you, and you need him.

    I hope you'll seek out some professional help, possibly some therapy. Sounds like there's so much you need to talk through. I hope you'll continue to reach out for support here. :hug:
     
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