lost

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Annell, Mar 7, 2007.

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  1. Annell

    Annell Member

    i always believed rape was an act of hate. but if the person is close to you, and loves you then is not rape right? i mean i didnt really wanted to be touch i told him no but he said he loved me and i stopped fighting.now i feel dirty and guilt . cutting helps with the pain but i know he will be home from work any minute now and i cant go out.whats happening to me? is this right?
     
  2. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    No. It isn't okay.

    Of course it's not okay.

    :hug:

    Who is this person?

    x
     
  3. Annell

    Annell Member

    he is my father
    i know he loves me sometimes i feel like he understands me
    he knows i cut and he lets me do it as long as i am good.
     
  4. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Are you being serious?

    :hug: how old are you sweetheart?

    x x x
     
  5. Annell

    Annell Member

    is there a minimum age to be here?if so i am sorry i didnt know. i am 14
     
  6. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    No hon' there's no minimum age. It's fine, you haven't done anything wrong :hug:. I just wanted to know.

    Where in the world are you and who else do you live with besides your dad?

    :hug: x
     
  7. Annell

    Annell Member

    brazil
    i live with my father. my mom killed herself last year. is just the 2 of us
     
  8. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through :sad:. Do you miss your mom?

    What your dad is doing is wrong, and he has no excuse for his behaviour. It's also most definitely against the law. How long has this been going on?

    Keep talking to me, okay? You're not alone :hug: x
     
  9. Annell

    Annell Member

    he just got home i can hear him in the garage. i have to go before he finds me using this computer . thanks
     
  10. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Please take care. Next time you get a chance then post on here okay? We want to help you.

    Try to hold on. And remember that you've done nothing wrong. :hug:

    x x x
     
  11. Annell

    Annell Member

    I dont want you to think i am a good girl because i am not.
    I have done everything wrong. Its my fault mom is dead. I miss her, i love her and at the same time i hate her. She left me.
    Everything is so out of control ... the only thing i can do right is cut. I do it often, i felt in control then. But now i find myself losing that to. i just wanted to make a small one tonight, just one cut but then i keep going and it gets deeper every time. i deserve this pain for all the things i do., for the things i dont do, for everything i let him do in order for me to cut.
    i have done all wrong.
     
  12. SpareTire

    SpareTire Well-Known Member

    How can you blame yourself for your mother Dieing? And No matter what you have done, what your father is doing is not deserved. Why think it is?
     
  13. Annell

    Annell Member

    She killed herdelf because i told her what my father was doing to me. it was too much for her, she couldnt fight him so she did nothing to help me. but that ate her inside and she put a gun to her head.
     
  14. SpareTire

    SpareTire Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for that happened to you, I can't even image what that's like for you. But your mom not dealing with it is not your fault. That was right for you to tell her. The problem at hand now is your father, is there someone outside of family you can talk to about it? i.e. a teacher, a friends mom.
     
  15. Annell

    Annell Member

    I am in brazil. my father transfer here about 2 months ago after i lost it and took a bottle of some pain medicine and cut my wrists really bad. I dont go to school, i have a tutor and i dont speak the language either so i dont have friends.
    i cant tell. i will be put in a hospital, i know.
     
  16. SpareTire

    SpareTire Well-Known Member

    Transfured from where? what about going back?
     
  17. Annell

    Annell Member

    US. He doesnt want to go back. I am stuck and he knows it and i think he like it like that.
     
  18. SpareTire

    SpareTire Well-Known Member

    I'm asking if you can go back with out him. He's not doing you any good. he is just a drain to you. make some calls, arrange a plane ticket and bounce, let him find out after your back in the states. If anything once your back here, the Gov't can help ya. (just an idea to try and help)
     
  19. Annell

    Annell Member

    i know you are trying to help and i thank you but how am i suppose to get out of this country? i am 14.
    i could run away but to where?
     
  20. SpareTire

    SpareTire Well-Known Member

    You have no responsible family or friends in the US? There has to be a way, it just may take some thinking and planning. You don't wanna just "run away", there has to be a plan. It can be to risky trying to wing it.
     
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