So I don't fully know where to start and I apologise if I don't make sense or if I just ramble. My life fell apart a numbers of years ago from a traumatic experience and it's just gone into a domino effect, I don't know where I stand in life other than being a farther to my children when I get to see them. If it wasn't for my children I know I wouldn't be here in life to the point I know exactly what from the note to my funeral. I have tried a number of times to end this pain that is my life and never able to successfully do it the closet being in critical condition in hospital. I just feel a robot going day by day but I just can't cope I've series professional help which made me worse was put on medication to no success my so called friends abaonded me and most my family cut their ties when I cried for help (this being before my hospital stay this year) I just don't know what to do anymore.