Lost

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by LetItGo, Apr 16, 2007.

  1. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:

    Look at this sack of SHIT!

    no future
    no hope
    no life
    no love
    no money
    no prospects
    nothing

    A vacuum
    A void
    A fucking black hole leading to knowhere..

    Im so lost. Im tired, depressed to the fucking brink, lonely beyond words.

    I look back 6 months ago...and I cant bare to watch.

    Job ads...what a fucking laugh. Who writes this shit? motivation speakers...they sound like there from la la land...I have no fucking clue what rock these people crawled out from, but its totally alien to me. The language? Do they want "normal", depressed, suicidal nutjobs like myself to apply? I guess not. They sound far too driven, far to upbeat, far to stimulated...Id never fit in. All i want is a some job where I turn up, do my shift, get reasonably paid, and fuck off home, I dont want to pretend the job is my life...not gonna pretend im actually interested.

    This is what its come too...every day, around and around and around in fucking circles. Im sick of it :blub: so fucking tired, can someone PLEASE! hit me with a brick or something, bludgeon me to death, take the responsibility for killing myself out of my hands.

    Its so simple....all I have to do is get up, take a walk, and finish it. How fucking easy can it be?

    FUCK!

    Ive got a page here from a scrapbook dating back about 15 years. When I was 20 I wrote a suicide note, reading it now, same shit, differant decade. Fuck im pathetic....christ...it just never ends.....I didnt have any balls then either.

    Its fucking hilarious...isnt it? You know a part of me must still care or something, still dream and have aspirations, but reality, me being me, I need to crush those dreams, stop believing I can be anything other that what I am...

    Im sorry guys, I know you really care, but its about time you face reality,
    IM A FUCKING LOST CAUSE.

    Im being totally sincere here, this isnt surfing another downer, this is fucking gospel.

    Think I should start filling out the will kit I bought last Saturday, not that Ive got anything to write...mum can have everything.

    Fuck it, fuck it all....I dont want to speak, I dont want to move, I dont want to chat, I dont want to delude anyone, any longer, that my life is worth saving, because you and I both know the truth.

    It fucking isnt.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 16, 2007
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    OY

    Wanna stop with the RED!!! Woke me up .....I dont like being woken up by loud aussie pirates!!:mad: :blink:

    Ok hun, this has got to stop. This job hunting thingummy is doing your head in for a start. How about looking for a job that lets u just go in, do it and leave?
    Sound like your looking at those poncy 'work every hour that your breathing' jobs. Or how about a job that is completely different? Just for a fresh view on shit. We have these jobs in the UK where u enable peeps to stay in their own homes (old, disabled etc). Flexible hours, no one breathing down your neck and you get to help someone=immediate feeling of being useful soul!! Pay aint great but................

    NEVER...read any shit from scrapbooks unless having a 'happiest person in the world' moment:mad: Did that a time or two meself and was immediately engulfed in what might have been...where did I go wrong....etc
    Scrap books are the work of the devil!!! :blink: :unsure:

    When u get the job shit worked out and your a little less in the well of despair, how about taking the plunge and joining a dating agency? Until you put yourself out there no one is gonna know what they're missing.

    Finally.............A GIGANTIC HUG!!!!!!
     
  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    no future- only you can make yourself a future. No one can do that for you. you have to want a future to get one. :(
    no hope- find something to give you hope hun. find something that makes you smile..NOT SOMEONE...someone will not make you happy.
    no life- create one, go out do something, make a life..i can't stress that enough..and i know practice what i preach :whack: self
    no love- love does not make life. love does not make one exist. When you stop looking for love it will come your way..when you least expect it, it will show up and you will be knocked off your socks.
    no money- i know you hate me saying this and you've cussed me out for it..*cough* job *cough* even a part time one.
    no prospects- create prospects...create life...create you...you might find that you will get more motivated if you do go out and do something...im sorry if that doesn't sound helpful.

    You need to stop Matt. Stop, take a step back, realize that you are not a black fuckin hole, you are not a vaccuum. You are a sweet guy who has had a tough life. Love is not the answer, love complicates things.

    I know youa re lost and tired of the shit in your life. Loneliness i can fuckin relate but that doesn't mean that you are hopeless or a black hole hun. You are far from hopeless, you have helped so many people regardless of whether you see that or not.


    I can certainly hit you with a brick matt but I'm sure it won't feel too good the next morning. It would leave you with a headache and a feeling of accomplishing nothing but having an insane chick hit you with a brick!!!

    It won't be easy matt, it won't. b/c nothing in life is uncomplicated and easy..with everything comes complications. You may think it easy and you may think its what you want..but its still not an easy thing to do.

    if you still care and still have dreams and have inspirations than try hun, than try for those dreams and inspirations. thrive o those and try to live for those.
     
  4. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    Matt you damn well what i think about this and i'm not going to say it again. Listen to the wise terr and kell. Always here if you need me. So please dont stay offline the whole time.
    Love
    :hug:
    Julie
     
  5. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Matt :sad:

    Terry, Kelly and Julie are right. Listen to them.

    You are NOT a lost cause, Matt!! You are NOT!!!

    :hug: :hug: