Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by genuinerisk, Jun 16, 2007.

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  1. genuinerisk

    genuinerisk New Member

    I'm lost. I married & divorced my abusive ex-husband 2X. Lost a job in 2002 b/c he would not allow me to work, thus 2nd divorce and started over in 2003 w/ new job in new state. Yet, coworker was abusive and I involved HR who said I they would work with me and no retaliation. Well, I did not tell them I filed a police report. They found out and fired me in July 2004. Found work in August 2004 at another law firm. I'm assigned to 3 attorneys, one of whom is very abusive. She has a string of secretaries b/4 myself. Without going into too much detail, she openly degrades me, lies, blames me for her shortcomings, has me stop all work if she loses something (i.e., phone, blackberry, wallet, keys, etc.) which is a daily event, throws things at me, calls me to come into her office then yells at me to "Get out", constantly late (at bars most nights), gives incorrect information and then blames, has hit me across face on both cheeks with paper, takes things out of my hand leaving cuts, asks me to come into her office to put away files and throws them on the floor for me to pick up, assumed I was lesbian and attempted to set me up with her lesbian friend, sends me to p/u her lunch then has other coworkers track men down (even tho only gone for 5-10 minutes), sends me on errands in inclement weather, etc.

    The other secretaries have informed me I've been there the longest.

    Recently, I threatened to quit 4 weeks ago after this attorney took a stack of papers and slapped me across both face cheeks. Then acted as if nothing happened. One attorney stood up for me before HR stating there has been physical and verbal abuse. HR said they would work with me, yet no response. I believe they've posted my position with a local temp agency. I don't trust them and don't know how to find a job after being in these types of situations. I filed a workers comp claim which has since cleared due to an office injury. There have now been 2 workers comp claims in my section in the past 2 quarters. They are willing to work with the other person who filed b/c she's been with the firm for 20+ years.

    They (present employer) are tired of hearing from me, I'm certain, b/c of the WCC and about 6 mths ago I complained of a worker who is constantly on smoke break and making threats via email.

    I don't trust HR.

    I just feel empty, hopeless, lost, in shock, etc. Don't know how I'll survive a 3rd layoff.

    Don't want to layoff my dreams either. I'm working on Masters and for my graduation want to buy my own horse. Yet, who wants someone whose lost job 3X. Thus, why live. I felt same while in abusive marriage, why live and attempted suicide several times. Why, because the abuse ended my military career, no one believed me b/c my husband outranked me. So, I ran -- this is when I first divorced him.

    Gawd. What will I do?

    Please, someone 'talk' to me. I've called suicide prevention hotlines today, yet all they do is 'uhum' me. I need feedback, please.

  2. genuinerisk

    genuinerisk New Member

    OK, I get it, good bye world.
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry to hear you have been through so many things in your home and work situations. I really don't know what to say other than don't give up. Eventually someone will step in and really listen to what you have to say. You said your workmans comp was cleared, so what step comes next? Have you taken your claims outside of the lawfirm you work in? I wish I could be of more help, but I really have no experience to fall back on to try and give you other avenues to explore.
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