Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by type, Feb 5, 2008.

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  1. type

    type Member

    I could really do with some advice because im not sure how much more of this I can take.

    To cut a very long story short, I suffer from depression and social phobia. For along time now I've gradually gone down hill and reaching rock bottom. I just dont know where to turn or what do to anymore. Ive been in and out of therpist & councillors for awhile now and thought I was gradually getting better but the past 5 months or so have been hell, there just feels like theres been a shift, I no longer feel/relate/ or even remember what it was like before I went down hill. I have so many dark thoughts on a regular basis and have had many like them before but its strange, before there was a greater uncertainty whether I would actually commit suicide but now............. it just seems more real, more of an option or necessicity.

    My best friend who has simular issues is getting help for her problems and im so frightened to even turn to her for help in fear of bringing her down, I dont want to hinder her in anyway to overcome her problems. And ive put my parents through so much worry and heart ache over the years with my depression and social phobia I cant put them through it again. How can I get help without causing worry to my best friend and parents?
  2. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    hey hun im srry u are having a hard time, if u ever wanna talk im here for u
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you say that you've been in and out of therapists...are you seeing anybody right now? if so, it's time to get the courage together to tell them how sad and alone you are feeling at the moment... i know you can and will feel better down the road, with support and hard work, but only if you get some help untangling this mess. if you aren't seeing anyone at the moment call the therapist you liked the most and tell 'em you'd like to see 'em again if that's possible.

    your friend might react okay if you share, or maybe not. sometimes friends get scared and say the meanest things. you can always ask for what you need right now, without the whole back story, for instance, my sister doesn't know how suicidal i am but we have an understanding that i can pop over and stay the night anytime, no questions asked, just to be safe.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

  5. humpty

    humpty Active Member

    Hi type,

    I feel the same way. I've had social phobia and depression all my life, seems like I've been in this situation so many times before, but this time it seems I've come to an end. I don't know perhaps medication would help you out. I was on paroxatine for many years and it did seem to help.

    I feel for you. I really do, sorry I can't be of more help.
    take care
  6. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Your doing a nobble thing in protecting your parents and best friend. Maybe by sharing how you feel with your best friend, it may in turn make you feel better. Also your best friend may not worry as much as you think she would and even if she did, it's out of care for you.
  7. type

    type Member

    Thanks for all your kind words and advice.

    Feeling abit better tonight, althought I did cut last night, first in a long time so feels abit of a step back.

    My last therapist was really good, unfortunatley she moved down south and I wasn't really offered any follow up support. I was transfered to an anxiety management course but did't find it of much help. Im currently on prozac at the moment and I think maybe an increase would help, trouble is I tried increase them before and now I regret not persevering with the side effects for longer. I think what stops me going to see my doctor is im worried that he may not allow me to increase my meds. Dont get me wrong hes nice enough, hes just not overly keen at handing out meds. And I cant really change doctors for the 2nd time. I changed doctors before over a disagreement and felt he wasnt going to offer the help i needed.

    A think a part of me just wants to give up. Im sick and tired of dealing with anxiety and depression, the up and down moods and the effects it has and spreads through mylife.
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