Things aren't going so well. Six weeks ago my son was stillborn. Ever since then I have known I was going to break but not to what degree or when. The time has arrived. Yesturday I completely flipped out and when I was in the shower I started smashing my head into the tiles. It seemed like a fun way to hurt myself at the time. Last night, my husband came home 6 hours late with barely an excuse. My main reasons for being miffed were 1] I didn't know where he was because he wouldn't answer my calls, 2] I was prescribed medication yesturday and by the time he got home everything was closed, 3] it has happened atleast 3 times a week since our baby was born. Up until a few days ago I was doing everything to be helpful, getting him off to work, cooking all his meals, basically being a good little housewife. Last night I completely lost it. I cut up a few of our photos and threw paper/toiletpaper/ tissues/anything i could find absolutely everywhere while screaming and crying. He admitted that he's been running from me emotionally and taking me for granted. I know he's not in a good place right now, but I'm still willing to love him through it. For better or worse, right?! Today I asked that he come home from work, not via some mates house he didn't bother telling me about. We need to talk about this stuff. I don't trust him to do this. Someone from the local psych team is coming around to my place today to see if I'm still alive. I don't want to be on this planet anymore.