i've been alone for most of my life and it never really bothered me until now. i've recently lost my fiance to the man thats been trying to get her from me for a little less than a year. i blame myself for that, i screwed up with her because i wouldn't admit to being wrong. i've always enjoyed being alone but now when i'm alone she's the only thing i think about. i haven't slept for more than two hours in more than a month. she's talking to me again and she admitted that she still loves me but she won't get back together with me. i don't know what to do, i'm tired, i'm depressed, and ive tried to kill myself twice in the last month. i want to be able to sleep without dreaming of her again, how do i do that?