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Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by swimmergirl, Mar 23, 2009.

  1. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    A friend of mine took her life last Tuesday. We buried her Friday. You would think her death and the pain I am feeling from losing her would make me NOT want to kill myself, but I am starting to feel like maybe she had the right idea, maybe I am even a little bit jealous, isnt that a horrible thing to think, I am so confused, and I still want to die, even though I miss her so much and my heart aches for her family, I still want to do it. I must be crazy. I am just so sad and lonely, I just don't see the point in living anymore.
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm sorry to hear that :hug:
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Think about how bad you feel now that she has passed and how it has affected her family..Do you really want your friends and family to feel the same way you are feeling now?? Why don't you focus your thoughts on helping her family to deal with her passing..
  4. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I don't want to hurt anyone else, and that is why I am still here, living. But, why is it okay for me to be hurting so badly? It doesn't seem fair. By sparing my friends and family pain, I suffer.
  5. robin2002

    robin2002 Member

    Please don't let yourself suffer alone......reach out to anyone that you thing can help you. Have you tried calling a councilor? that by be a place to start
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is such a difficult situation, to lose a friend...I am very sorry for your loss...and, unfortunately, we do not readily use these opportunities to see how fragile life really is...when my best friend was dying 20 yrs ago, he made me promise that I will live life in a more authentic way...feel the bad and the good, and know how very messy life really is...it took me yrs to get to this place, but it is truly an easier life...best of luck to you and hope you find the support you need at this time, J