Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by girl_in_limbo, Apr 21, 2009.

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  1. girl_in_limbo

    girl_in_limbo Active Member

    I've never had what I considered a drinking problem. I mean I've gone through phases where perhaps I drank more than the average person, but whatever. I have been treated for "alcohol abuse" once, but it wasn't anything major.

    So recently I just got a drunk driving. I rarely ever drink and drive... I mean rarely. It was a freak thing and I wasn't that much over the legal limit. I was depressed before this happened, but now I'm completely falling apart. The worst thing is I want to drink more than ever. Is that totally awful? I would think something like a drunk driving would make someone want to drink less, but it is quite the opposite for me. I am just so torn up inside and scared that it is the only thing that makes me feel completely numb.

    I feel like my drinking is going to spiral drastically out of control... but as long as I don't drive(which I don't plan on) I'm not causing anyone else any harm. I guess I don't really have a point, I just needed to justify it to myself.
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Why not check out an AA meeting?
  3. I completely understand where you're coming from...:hug:

    I don't think I have a drinking problem...it just helps me to relax at night, and to avoid hurting myself...
    But now that I've been honest to my gf about how often I drink, I think she is going to leave me because of it, just because her mom's bf is an ass when he drinks... I'm not like that though... I am at my most open, loving, and honest when I drink, sadly.
    I hope she can realize that I only drink so I don't end up hurting myself, or worse... Sometimes I don't think she understands me very well at all though.. :/
  4. girl_in_limbo

    girl_in_limbo Active Member

    I don't need AA... as far as I can tell I don't have a problem, at least not with drinking.

    I have had a few drinks this morning and I feel like my thoughts are clearer than they have been in the past few days. I don't have a drinking problem, I drink to numb myself and to clear my mind.

    I guess the decision that has been clouding my mind the past few days has been cleared by the early morning bloody mary's. Thank you for you thoughts though.
  5. canis-lupis

    canis-lupis Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry honey but the statement "I guess the decision that has been clouding my mind the past few days has been cleared by the early morning bloody mary's." sort of gives you the only clue you need. operative section being "early morning bloody mary" as an addict the last thing I COULD accept was that I WAS ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL (prob weed as well in my head but) I will always be addicted but I will be able to keep it under control as long as I dont give in to the addiction. Just go to an A.A. meeting, you dont have to stand up and introduce yourself just go and listen to some other stories & see if you see any similarities. If you do then I hope you will accept there is a problem & seek help if not then I wish you all the best in your self justification a lot of us have been there & will be back there again. If you ever just feel like venting pls feel free to pm me
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