I'll be alone at home for 3 weeks from 5pm today. I can't cope. Life is too much for me. The world is too much for me. I have no heart. I can't feel love. I can't give or receive love. I've been dead the past nearly 40 years, so ending it now won't really make any difference. There's noone to save me, noone to care. There are several professionals who care for me. But that doesn't mean they care and would save me. Noone can do that, and there is noone to do that. All they are is professionals, at the end of the day. I may be in private treatment [apart from my GP] but that doesn't mean I get any crisis support. I'm too alone. Far too alone.