lost

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by rbenamara, Sep 25, 2010.

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  1. rbenamara

    rbenamara New Member

    am men well i dont know , i have wonderful wife , prety daughter , god gave me manythings in life , my wife loved me all time , she was faith to me all time ,in end after 5 years of marriage , i just cheated on her with a supposed best friend, i wake up late, i knew what i was doing late but in space of two weeks since i regret everything , my wife found out in the must bad way , hse saw sexual pictures, i know its horrible i know that what i did is very bad but honestly i realy regret all befor she find out , today was 3rd birthay of my daughter , and she finaly said that she dont love me anymore, i feel a men who lost everything in his life , i realy love my wife i realy wake up fropm my depression, i realy cant live without them , but i know now that i will not be with them anymore, all what i have in my head is to finish all, but in same time am too freak to do it, i dont know what to do , do it and finish all and maybe find peace or not do it and liove my holl life blaming my self for what i have done , am not a criminal , am not a bad persone i realy love my wife ,i prefer if i killed somone and be in prison then live with feeling guilty every morning i wake up alone without my wife and my child, i know other people will say , you should think about this all befor doing this , well if i was thinking i will be not here now, i just want die i want just die
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...although you think what you have done is terrible, it is important to remember we all make mistakes, yes, some greater than others, but we are still human...the main question is what you can do to make amends to your wife...have you spoken to her about this? so sorry you are going through this, and welcome again, J
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Have you ask her to maybe seeking marriage councilling maybe that will show her how sincere you are about this marriage. Even if you are not together your child will always need her dad. You will still have visitation rights You need to gain your wifes respect and trust back not harm her more by hurting yourself. this will only cause her more grief and sadness in the end. When she has had time to calm down see if marriage council ling is feasible for her and you.
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi rbenamara and welcome to SF. You made a mistake and you have recognized that you have made a mistake and you're willing to reconcile with your wife. We're all human and we all make mistakes. I hope your wife can find it in her heart to forgive you, but maybe she just needs some time apart to try and figure things out. Have you spoken to her about getting back together? For your daughter's sake, I hope you both can work things out.
     
  5. rbenamara

    rbenamara New Member

    thanks for your reply
    i am now 3 month separated living alone , i miss my wife and miss my daughter , sometimes i feel she still love me , sometimes i feel opposit and many time she said , she dont know if we will be together or not , this problem and my mistake made me feel more stronger to her , but in end its not important how i feel but what she want , last night she said to me that she dont love me anymore, and one day she said , befor she didnt imagine her self with another men , now she say she cant imagibe her self with me . all what i know is that i regret everything and i love her so mush and miss my daughter so much , is it mean that i am a bad men , cuz this is what she think that good people dont do mistakes like that , and am only a bad men
     
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