Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Sadeyes, Oct 9, 2010.

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  1. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Where is my G-d?
    Is he out there?
    I am walking alone.
    In a wheelchair.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I often wonder that myself Sad Eyes
    and feel lost to
    I hope you find someone that can walk beside you
    so you are not so alone in all of this
    I like your poem
    Glad you are releasing you thoughts here.
  3. hillsworth13

    hillsworth13 Member

    Whoever you believe in is there:

    One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
    Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
    In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
    Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
    other times there was one only.
    This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
    when I was suffering from anguish,
    sorrow or defeat,
    I could see only one set of footprints,
    so I said to the Lord,
    “You promised me Lord,
    that if I followed you,
    you would walk with me always.
    But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
    there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
    Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
    The Lord replied,
    “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,
    my child, is when I carried you.”
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think it is a natural consequence of grief to question many things...for me, it is questioning my faith...In the past 2 months, I lost my ability to walk, lost one of my best friends and my mother...all of this has brought me to a place of asking how much one can endure...J
  5. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I look at you
    what do i see
    darkness in your eyes
    or a reflection of me

    the tears start to well up
    we question our faith
    all talk of lonely
    must be replaced

    we love you sadeyes
    and want you to know
    that we walk beside you
    wherever you go.

  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Thanks Andi...I am so touched...back 2 U!
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you have lost so much no wonder you question how much one can endure. I hope you continue to reach out for support here because with caring hearts we can endure much more then we think. Thanks to you and others here alot of us are still fighting the battle still remain strong Don't forget to lean on your friends in such a hard time okay pm me anytime Sadeyes okay here when you need me
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry sadeyes...:hug::flowers:
  9. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Hope you are as well as can be "J"! I miss talking to you. :hug:

    For me, I never really had any faith. I don't know why...my parents sent me to temple and I thought there might be "something" out there for a few years but it faded away shortly after my bar-mitzvah! I was given the choice whether to continue or not with lessons, etc...and decided not to. This was only because the only few friends I had were on my street and wanted to play baseball and other sports...so that's what I did to fit in.

    SO, bottom line is, it's a very strange feeling for me not to believe in a "supreme being" or really faith of any kind...it's kind of lonely and tragic really to think there is nothing else when we are gone. However, I can also understand, and would probably feel the same if I did believe and had to fit that in with reality (I mean reality for me), in which I see the horrors of daily life...the suffering...the brutality and the tragic illnesses which take our loved ones.

    WOW...sorry for the rambling diatribe. I think we're screwed either way!!!

    Be well... :rose:

  10. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Until the last three months, if questioned, I would have said I had a deep faith...I have no perception what G-d looks like, but thought I knew that s/he existed...recently, I feel like Job...I have not lost my spirituality, and continue to believe that we are here to be compassionate, but my sense that there is a superior being is being tested...I feel so alone and dissociated from who I knew to be me...I hope I find my way again...also, thanks all for your caring and support...and I miss you too Mikey...J
  11. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Thank you "J".

    I would just add one comment which was spoken to me by a professor in a college philosophy class:

    "If there is a supreme being, it is only out there f***ing with us to get some laughs!"

    A little dramatic perhaps, but what if that were true. That there was...but it only wanted to see our reactions to the havoc it wreaks upon us!

    Of course, perhaps it is only waiting for mankind to evolve to another level in which we all live in peace...helping each other for the common good (or as you suggested in your statement about "compassion"!.

    Unfortunately for me, I cannot believe that because I simply believe in evolution and genetics...and since we are basically evolved from animals...we will always be so. I see us as the insects and more highly evolved animals which are only concerned with carving out space and obtaining food.

    Poor me...

    Keep your faith "J"...I think you are better off for it. It is very lonely without it!
  12. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am fortunate to be a Jew-Buh so I have both a spiritual and metaphilosophical way to view my way in the world...I have gotten the lesson about my imperfections and my desire to be compassionate...and yes, no belief system if true until tested...I know intuitively, that when I finish this part of the journey, I will be a better person...I know I am blessed...I have the love and caring of so many angels here on earth, which clearly got me away from the edge last month...my 'nieces and nephews' (my friends children) are a large part of my light...they are so gracious and send cards and photos and many kisses and hugs...my friends would walk for me if they could...I look forward to not feeling as broken as I do today...I miss how I knew who I was...now, I must adjust my self-image and it is so difficult...I hope that soon I will not feel like a lesser me...heartfelt thanks, again to all,,,J
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