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Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
I feel like a child must when they have been seperated from their parent in a huge department store. So many people. Panic seizes you. You look at all the unfamiliar faces. Terrified that you will not be able to find the love and security you've lost. You try looking above and beyond the obstacles that surround you. But the people, so many, you cant see past them. You remember the words your parents have uttered so many times. "Dont talk to strangers." "There are bad people out there that only want to hurt you." So you keep staring at all those faces trying to determine if this one could be a "safe" person. If that one is the one you can trust. Unbelievable panic seizing you the whole time that the things you want and need may never be found again.

Yes, I feel like a small child. Lost. But the small child is filled with fear and uncertainity from the advice that the parents shared. As a grown woman I know that trusting will lead to hurt and pain. I'm lost and dont think I will ever be found, or ever find the love and security that I am searching for. Never to be able to feel safe ever again. I so badly want to find that hand that reaches down and takes charge of my situation. Leads me to the safety and love I need. Shows me that it is okay to trust when you feel lost and scared. But I'm an adult and the reality for me is there is no such hand.

So, I've sat myself down, crying with all the effort I've put out. I realize I'm lost and no one cares to look for me anymore. Because where I am is too dark for others to see me.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
it is hard when you fight so hard to be seen when your cries are not heard C we care here and we know how it is to be thrown away i know how it is to feel so dam alone I am glad you keep posting because i want you to see you are not alone okay not here anyways hugs to you
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