And afraid. The medication doesn't work anymore. I'm constantly thinking of suicide these days. Every day, I start out determined to change my attitude, but I always end up collapsing. I feel as though I'm as close as I can get to the point of no return. I see no reason to go on in complete, relentless misery. I have no purpose, no self-confidence, no joy, no friends. I just want out. I feel as though I'll never recover from the trauma and abuse.