I lost my job of 5 years from being in the hospital for suicide attempt! Now I really have nothing. I'm so fucking stupid I don't even remember why I tried to kill myself, or how I got to the hospital. I havnt slept well in 3 weeks nor eaten! I've been sick with the flu just to Put some icing on the cake. I want to put myself out of my misery. But still cry at the thought of dying. I have a girl friend who still can see the best in me, out of the mess I've become again. I really can't find any reason to go on, not even love.