Lost

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Wispiwill, Sep 24, 2012.

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  1. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    I suppose I should say 'hi' to everyone out there, or at least those that choose to read this thread. There's not really much to say about me. I'm alone in all the ways that matter. There are people around me but no-one I can talk to, not really.

    Do I have suicidal thoughts? Yes.

    Have I ever attempted it? That depends on your definition. I've done things that, given the right set of circumstances, would have resulted in my death (and did so on purpose) but never actually gone that last step that meant it was a sure thing (or at least as certain as anything can be).

    Why? Because I don't want people to know. If I could do it without it being KNOWN as suicide, it would be easier.

    Do I have any reason to live? In theory, yes. But I don't feel it. I don't feel anything except pain, fear and despair anymore. The rest of the time I'm just numb. Life is an exercise in pretence.

    Have I been diagnosed with any medical disorder? No but then I don't trust doctors (no offense to any doctors out there) so I've never spoken to them about how I feel.

    Can anyone help me? Probably not. I don't even want to be helped. I just want to be gone. That's it. That's all I want.

    Why am I posting this? So I can pretend that I've tried, at least a little. I don't expect any answers. I don't expect anything.

    To those that have bothered to read this (if any), I wish you a better day than I'm having. Good luck.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Can anyone help yes hun there is lots of support here if you chose to stay and talk to us. You say you feel pain and fear and despair what is causing this
    You can get help there is help but you need to reach out for it ok. I think you do want to be helped that is why you posted Your doctor can help you do not have to keep living this way so reach out ok get the help you deserve hun don't wait years to do it hugs
     
  3. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your kind words, total eclipse, I appreciate the sentiment.

    I've tried reaching out for help but it never works. It might for some, but not for me. Nice thought, though. Thanks.
     
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