Lots on my plate, don't want to eat

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Lorax, Aug 3, 2013.

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  1. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    I was used as a kid. Grew up taking care of my ill father. Watched him die 3 years back. I fell completely in love with a woman. In months, i was already thinking of our future. I told her every detail of my life. Shared my first kiss and a bit more. Cut my self when i hurt her emotionally, thought of suicide when she was hurt. She claimed to feel the same way. She said she loved me, then she broke up with me from family issues. We tried to be friends, but she kept getting too close. Then called it a "mistake" she said she loved me.. Then decided to permanently cut me from her life when i did nothing to her. I have Bipolar and have all but stopped sleeping. I am also severely depressed. I just want an escape
  2. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i hope you find some support here.

  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi Lorax
    welcome to suicide forum. I think you will find this a good community. I am sorry you are suffering so much. What you describe is so very painful. Usually when things are so bad for people they need extra help in terms of not only support but medication. Have you contacted your doctor to let him or her know you are severely depressed and are barely sleeping? If not. I hope you will do that. I know it cannot undo the pain that has happened being cut from her life. But sleep is essential. Perhaps a change in or addition to medications will give you a bit of help getting through this horrible time. I know it is not going to remove the pain of missing her. But everyone needs sleep. And being severely depressed is, well, serious as you know. Please keep posting.
  4. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    Thank you for listening. I try not to vent bc it takes a lot out of my relationships. In terms of medication, i have tried everything. Anti psych, anti depressants, anti anxiety. Even study aids. I fear my therapist.. If i mention feeling suicidal she may put me in the hospital again. I've taken strong sleep aids, yet i still go for 5+ hours on them. The anti depressants seem to bring out suicidal feelings even more. I don't know.. Maybe there's an option i missed? I foresee another sleepless day here.
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