Love and caring ..no takers

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Bambi, Aug 13, 2009.

  1. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I am in shock right now.

    I have been "set aside" and feel so rejected. I thought I meant something special to someone and seems I greatly overestimated my worth to them.

    I lost my best friend 8 months ago due to my illness and this was the first person I really let in but have been told they need a break from me.

    I just feel foolish and scared of my own shadow....I was feeling like I fit in here but now question whether I even make a difference, whether I matter at all and whether the love and caring that I have to offer - I have lots to give and lots I want to give - is anything any one really wants.

    Does anyone feel that they have all this love in them to give but that nobody wants it?

    Love B
     
  2. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Thats kind of how I feel sometimes. I also am very cautious about who I let close to me. My trust is people is very much in bad shape. The same things have been happening to me lately B. I've only been in kansas for a little under 2 years and still don't really know anybody. I did have a friend for a while who was coming over all the time and all that but then he got a girlfriend and he basically started ditching me all the time and breaking plans. Its happened like that with a couple other people I have met too.
     
  3. Ranxerox

    Ranxerox Well-Known Member

    Well ive never had a true friend, so at least you had one best friend, which is better than being alone...
     
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Yep all the time. Maybe because I cant love myself it leaves me with so much to offer others. As for your friend, stop and see it from the other side of the coin for a second. You have a person that doesnt suffer your demons and pains. They want to be your friend and help. But they cant truly understand you. So they try. And they may see you improve a bit. But then you slide right back down. They dont understand how depression and suicidal thoughts take control regardless of how hard we try to battle them. So they start to feel like you arent listening to them or you really dont appreciate their help. You know how frustrating it all is for you and you have the illnesses or urges. Now take your friend who doesnt and what do you think they see? After a while they truly do feel like they need a break. I know I'm so guilty of turning to others when I feel like shit. But when I'm doing "ok" I dont seem to have the energy to repay their kindness. So it hits again and I'm back. To our friends I'm sure it must look pretty greedy and grim. It's like when you stub your toe on something once. If you can you remove whatever it was so it doesnt happen again. But with depression you cant do that. So most times others see us as not really trying or caring. That's when you come and turn to your friends here. They understand and will keep giving support no matter how many times you come and plead about the same problems or pains. Save your "happy" mask for the outside world.. you dont need to wear it here. As for your friend, maybe make a real effort and treat them out to a nice afternoon lunch or an evening out. And as much as you dont want to, keep everything about you, to you for that time. Give them some room and time. You always have here to melt down in afterwards. Sometimes I think we actually push away a lot of our friends and dont even realize it. So they get to the point where still trying to be polite they let you do it completely and neither of you can ever understand what happened.
     
  5. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    hi bambi
    I didn't even see your post before now.I would have responded immediately.
    Just because someone says they need a break from you,doesn't mean they do not care about you still..or want you in their life.Needing space is a sign that something is going on in their life ..probably something serious and is making them push people away.I know that is what I do.I push people away..fear to trust..fear of getting burned..and just..fear.I am sure it isn't just you they have pushed away..and I am also sure it won't be forever.
    It IS hard not to take it personally...can't say I blame you..but whatever is going on has more to do with the other person than you.
    Hope you are ok..don't see you here much these days...i'll pm you.
    ((bambi))
     
  6. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    ashes is right. its not your fault they needed space. its about balance. and while confiding in someone may help you it can cause the other to worry if they can handle it. and so they might need to talk to someone about it. its not easy to have to deal with though (being in your position that is). but i also believe that yeah, i have love to give if thats what it is. i believe i can make people happy. but nobody needs me too is all. its not that they dont want me too. i think thats the case. but its also not up to me to make everyone happy because to do that id have to be happy myself. as it is if i tried to make everyone happy id fail miserably because id make them unhappy worrying about me.
     
  7. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hey bambi .. i havent been replying 2 posts 4 a few days .. just started back really .. and just seen this .. x
    u DO make a difference here .. ur an awesome person.. and u care greatly 4 others.. and that comes across in all ur posts :)
    did the friend u let get close 2 u suffer from depression ? it may have been why they felt they needed space.. can be difficult sometimes as we both know .. im sure they didnt mean it in an offensive way .. :hug: x
     
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey B,
    Sorry I haven't posted sooner.. I was out of town for four days and since being home I have been in a funk..I really haven't been on the forum..I don't see how you could be ignored.. You are a very caring person..You definitely have friends here on the forum.. So keep posting, we all love you and you would be sorely missed if you were gone..Take Care!!
     
  9. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    B,

    You've already made a positive difference for me and many others here. PM me any time. :hug: