Love and Suicide...Has anyone ever lost partners after you attempted suicide?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by william9_17, Jul 18, 2011.

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  1. william9_17

    william9_17 Member

    I'm curious how many of you that have attempted suicide ended up losing romantic relationships because of it? I attempted suicide on June 26th and my ex dumped me while I was still in the hospital. She said she could never be with someone who would try and kill themselves. I have to believe if she did really love me she would have stayed. Is that really the case if someone loved you they wouldn't abandon you even if you almost did the same but in a different way?
     
  2. LonerForever

    LonerForever Well-Known Member

    I tried to OD on March 14th last year. When my then girlfriend found out she tried to leave me. She didn't wish me well or bother helping or anything. She just tried to worm her way away from me. I tried with limited success to keep her but it ended anyway on 4th April of the same year. Unfortunately most relationships these days revolve around things other than love. I see people on Facebook all the time who have been together mere hours declaring their love for each other. My girlfriend, like yours, would have stayed if it was true love. I'm in a relationship now where I have attempted to kill myself... as has she. But not once have either of us considered leaving each other. If anything it brings us closer together because we realise just how much is at stake. The realisation that someone didn't love you despite your feelings for them is an extremely painful one.. Especially when they leave when you need them most. Whatever your feelings on it, it probably isn't your fault.
     
  3. Lost an amazing girl for these very reasons... just shows how much she really cared. Hurts more than ever when it someone who swore they would be there for you
     
  4. roscho

    roscho Well-Known Member

    I found someone when I tried to kill myself. There are often positives that can be found in the strangest of places ... Look for them.
     
  5. jeroen

    jeroen Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you thought you had to kill yourself and lost your significant other. She might not really have loved you but it is impossible to tell from this post. You can perhaps imagine that it is extremely difficult to be intimate with a person who has tried to kill themselves. There can be many reasons, fear of you trying to do it again, leaving her behind for example, or perhaps she has had similar feelings and she fears them? Perhaps you can relate to these feelings if you see her leaving you as something similar to suicide, people tend to commit suicide if pain becomes unbearable, that could be the case in her situation too.
     
  6. LonerForever

    LonerForever Well-Known Member

    Amen..
     
  7. jkeller4000

    jkeller4000 Well-Known Member

    My gf told me that she could not be with me if i did not get help,
    well at the time i was not ready to get help, and as part of my phase where i gt ride of my friends i used that opportunity to leave one of the few people that made life worth living, it has only gone down hill sense,
    however i did see a doc last week and she gave me medicine, but i not sure if i really want to go for a second appt.
     
  8. ali-wali

    ali-wali Well-Known Member

    My boyfriend said a day after I od'd if I did it again he'd leave me, I felt guilty for hurting him, I have self-harmed since but would never dream of telling him.
    Although they feel they can't do anything to help us, and to 'fix' us, i find just having that support day in day out is a hugggge help, for me anyway. :) I love my boyfriend, if he ever got to the position were he felt better off dead I would stand by him, support him, and drag him back out of his hole and do my best to make sure he never felt like that again! :wub::wub:
     
  9. S8pxph

    S8pxph Active Member

    My boyfriend left me after my last attempt, but I kind of expected it. In a way, he was the final straw in the attempt. He used to push me to tell him what was bothering me so he knew everything that was going on with me, but he still continuously ignored it or brushed it off. I can understand him not wanting to talk about depression, but he didn't support me in any of my problems. He claimed to love me and I loved him, but I felt completely abandoned because the person I loved didn't seem to care about the struggles in my life. I don't hold it against him, though. It sucks because not only do you have to deal with waking up, you have to deal with waking up to a worse life than the one you left. I know what you're going through : / It'll get better though. One day there will be someone that won't leave.
     
  10. SashaJade

    SashaJade Well-Known Member

    I haven't lost a partner through suicide attempts;

    I did however lose my whole circle of friends because of attempts and self harm. They said they couldn't deal with me being ill any longer.

    It hurt at the time, but now it's shown me that they weren't really my friends or they would have stuck around and tried to help me.

    The funniest thing was that I was 1 of 3 people in this group that had attempted and self harmed. They could all deal with the others but not me. I just don't understand that.

    I guess maybe I was more complex than the others, or they just used it as an excuse not to see me anymore. IDK.
     
  11. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    I think a man might say he would leave if a women attempted - more as a way of making her realise suicide would actually mean the end regardless.

    But - there is a danger you could be emotionally blackmailed into providing care - I mean some use suicide attempts as a way of trying to control a relationship.

    I've not had this myself - but being cautious - maybe I've backed away when I saw the signs of a woman who might use any trick to create a situation beneficial for her. It happens. Well - not to me - but love is a sea - there are sharks.

    To those who have support - that's a great thing.

    to anyone who has lost someone they love to suicide - don't know what I would feel there - anger? Regret for sure - but I hope I'd choose to live and not be some kind of man who gives up life because love never went right. Well a women who loves you killing herself - its more than love gone wrong - it would be the hardest funeral - apart from your mothers of course. And sisters. It would be - difficult to make a eulogy - more so than your mothers who has to die before you one day.

    But eventually you would accept it was a choice or a mistake - and there is NOTHING you can do. At the point of suicide - if you love someone - the Chinese say that's the best time to go for the widow. Not advice - just wondering what kind of mindset you'd need to hit on a widow at the husbands funeral. Chutzpah beyond belief !(Chutzpah = Jewish for having a lot of balls!!!)

    In my area - I'd hate to kill myself as some would see it as cowardice. As a man - I know we have to carry burdens - it makes other men feel bad when one of us falls under the weight - but some men fall when they did not need to. There was always some hope in life - and were there is life there is hope.

    If you love someone - you should tell them how you feel - otherwise your living a kind of lie.

    Suicide breaks a lot of hearts - leaving the world and leaving that much pain - its not good Karma - well - it feels that way to me.

    But some people make choices - we do not KNOW the pain some feel - its too personal for us to actually understand.

    So whilst I might be angry at people I know who commit suicide (a bunch of them) - I pray for them and accept that I am not the one who made them unhappy.

    I choose my words carefully - even to a stranger - one kind word makes a difference - unkind words - can push people over the edge.

    There really are no room for mistakes - so I am careful what I say and write - and will be a lot more careful - but of course - cannot lose my flair and become a boring writer - so got to stay radical also.

    And you got to be alive to be radical!
     
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