LOVE cutting and burniing..

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Ruby, Feb 18, 2007.

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  1. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    Is that wrong? I don't care anyway. I don't care about anything but harming myself. For me it's a positive act. IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT UNDERSTANDS ME! Hahaha that's how my life is, the only thing that understands/helps me is an inanimate object. I'd be happy to live on the street as long as I had my 'cutting tools'. Do I want to stop? OF COURSE NOT. Why would I want that? I love it more than anything. I want to cut all my body and then sleep in my own blood. Ahh
  2. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I want to rub all my blood over my body. It'll release my badness and I'll feel clean and free.
  3. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    What would the ideal response to your post be? What is it you seek by saying such things and saying there is no way you would ever want to stop? Obviously not advice. Obviously not warnings. What is it you want?
  4. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member

    i know exactly how you feel
    its good to know that someone out there feels the same way. so i dont feel like a total nut!

    cutting is a joy for me. i told my counsellor i didnt want to go to this 'self harm group' and my doctor seemed rather taken back when i said i enjoyed the pain.

    argh its so great
  5. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I don't know why I made this thread. I guess I did it for an outlet. Would it have been more acceptable if it was based around suicidal ideation? Something positive comes from this anyway. It shows people how messed up it can make people.
  6. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    I was just curious. I wanted to reply but had no clue how. I wanted to know what you wanted. If all you wanted was to let it out and be accepted for it, I guess you already have that.:laugh:
  7. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    Hmm, well I also don't know what to say, other than I doubt deep down that you don't want to stop, or that you love it as you say. Maybe, in the moment, but I doubt that you love the way it ends up ruling your life. I could be wrong, but then in another post you say, and I quote: "Self injury sucks". Well, anyway I wish you luck in finding some sort of true happiness. I'm not going to sit back and say SI is a good thing and if it makes you happy, keep doing it, because I don't believe that but each to their own, I guess.

    PS. I also doubt very much that you would be happy living on the streets.
  8. ealdc

    ealdc Guest

    i never understood cutting. i could never do it but burning i used to do. i would burn a candle and pour the wax on my hands. i also liked sticking my fingers in and waiting for it to cool, then pull it off slowly. I used to do it when I was angry, but I don't do it anymore for some reason. The burning never left marks and didn't hurt that bad.
  9. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    The mental health professionals told me that they don't have any specialist self harm services. I feel so hopeless. I would like to stop, but I can't/don't know how. My mind is so confused. It's the one of the few things that give me some form of release, what would I do without that? I feel so bad that I can't even describe it. I'm even having thoughts of ODing which I haven't done for over a year now. I feel physically ill with these thoughts of dread. I'm starting to care less and less about things. I can't talk to anybody anymore. What hope have I got? I'm on medication, I go to therapy and I've spent a lot of time in hospital. I want to stay at home, I don't want to go to the hospital. I feel like I'm either dying or going insane.
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