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Love is not real

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by diseased, Apr 6, 2008.

  1. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    It's an illusion, at least for me anyway.
  2. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    I've felt like you in the past.

    It does tear you apart. I know what you mean.

    Why do you think it's an illusion?
  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    I see me in that statement diseased. I'm sorry you feel that way. Why do you feel it to be an illusion? For me it's because someone will say they love me or I will open up my heart and they will completely tear it to shreds. They will either use me up and spit me out or just manipulate the situation to their liking. So eventually I just believed that love didnt exist, at least not for me.

  4. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I've never had love before, or even tried to get it, and it feels like an illusion to me as well.
  5. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    I don't know. I've loved people before but no one has ever loved me back. They just lied and said they did but it wasn't true :(
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I don't believe in love either...
  7. animebling

    animebling Well-Known Member

    "Love is only the evolution of lust" Wobbly-Headed Bob
  8. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Then trust me when I say it's not love. You may have been experiencing stronger emotions than you have ever felt for another person, but that does not mean that it is "Love" by definition. To really feel and share and experience true love, the two people (assuming this is a romantic relationship, otherwise, the same essentially applies with certain modifications), the love must be mutual. You should both care about the other in such a way that the other person's happiness is AS or MORE important than your own.

    If that is not the case, then who is the person that you supposedly love? Someone who is selfish, unkind to you, abusive emotionally and/or physically, a person you WISH existed but actually does not, an idealization, someone who doesn't even know you exist, someone who toys with your emotions, someone who CANNOT reciprocate your feelings because he/she is completely unaware that you feel the same way...etc., etc.

    True love is reciprocal. You may briefly feel that you love someone who is not aware of your feelings, but it has to amount to something REAL to actually be Love in the true sense of the word.

    Love, REAL Love is reciprocal. It is a feeling of one-ness, a knowledge that you both need each other is a very profound way, it is trusting another person with your heart and having them put that very same trust in you. It is valueing your life less than the life of your loved one and having that same feeling reciprocated...KNOWING in your heart that this feeling is reciprocated.

    Love is rare, but true and real and it exists beyond any doubt. If you have not felt this way, and had someone else feel the same way about you in return, then you have not experienced true love and you have the hope of true love to look forward to.

    If you HAVE felt this way and had another truly feel the same way about you (genuinely and for a period of time), then rest assured that Love definitely exists (even with its flaws and possible disappointments) and you have experienced one of (if not THE) greatest things that life has to offer, and that in knowing that this exists, you have the absolute hope of finding this again, for real and for life.
  9. bitter&cynical

    bitter&cynical New Member

  10. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    Eh, at least Jesus loves me. :rolleyes:
  11. Daze&Confused

    Daze&Confused Antiquitie's Friend

    True love is a childish fantasy, love takes alot of hard work and sometimes compromise.
    Love can be unrequited.
    There are no blooming soul mates, you have a finite choice on a sliding scale.
  12. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    there are many different types of love
    relationships take a lot of work
    love doesn't
  13. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    I personally believe in love, but like Daze&Confused, I do not believe in "true love," "soul mates." I also don’t believe in "love at first sight,” because while I believe that one can have an instant connection with someone else, it still takes time for that to become love. And oftentimes, even this initial connection is tainted by what I call "lust at first sight." Love often contains some degree of lust, and lust can have some degree of love, but they are not the same thing.

    Real love is constantly fluctuating and changing. At some point, consciously or not, we hate the ones we love. It's natural, though still disturbing. Real love takes a lot of work (physically and emotionally), though it often doesn't feel like work because we so want to please and be with the other person. Real love shows itself best during the hard times, when even though there is frustration, anger, and pain on both sides, the couple has enough faith in their relationship to try to work it out.

    For me, love is the willingness to put up with someone else's crap and knowing that they are putting up with yours.
  14. diver200

    diver200 Senior Member

    Love is not real; UNTIL you find REAL love.
  15. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    I love my cat. It was love at first sight. I knew she was The One for me.

    There are so many different types of love. Love is complicated. When it comes to what is 'real' and not real, I know my gf loves me deeply and wants the best for me and I love her too. I've gone through times when I thought it wasn't real but that's because we don't connect on certain levels, emotionally and that's why I've felt so bad and lonely.

    I know what true love is when I've wanted to spit and yell and shout at someone and wished he'd just get away from me after lots of damaging things that he has done, but I still love him but also love myself and know about safety, distance and abusive relationships. Lots young people think they've found their "true love" when they are being horrible abused- "true love" can be a guise for abuse- "I love you I'm going to hurt you, you're worthless, you're a bitch, yes this is love." I know love isn't like that. Maybe one of the most important things to do is to love, learn and take care of yourself, to treat yourself gently and realise your limitations and that you're a human being which makes mistakes/going to hurt people and are willing to step back and realise that. That kind of love is the most important kind of love. Without that, you're going to treat others like dirt, unknowingly or not..
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2008
  16. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    I know for a fact love is real!!!! If only you knew what true love felt like you would not doubt it. Sure love can be painful at times and any relationship takes work and sacrifices on both parts...but it's amazing none the less...for something I've truly felt for the first time in my life I'm a believer now.
  17. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    OMG! You so got it right there. :laugh:
  18. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    There is nothing childish about true love even when relationships take hard work.
  19. Mortem

    Mortem Well-Known Member

    I think it exists. But it's certainly not for everyone.
  20. jonstark

    jonstark Well-Known Member

    If love isn't real I wonder why so many people on this forum want to kill themselves because of it.