love/kindness-hate/bitterness

[MeAndYou]

When, if at all, do love and hate become real?

I've recently thought that people act out of necessity. The kindness they are showing me is done so out of a need for something, even if that need is a "feel good" chemical reaction and release of endorphins in their brain. Same goes for the hate people express. I dont, (anymore), believe in unconditional love or unconditional hate or soul mates.

I've been under the belief as a result of this that nothing matters at all except our own survival, and by that logic, i couldnt care less. Everything we do, as far as i can tell, is for our very own singular survival and pleasure.

The only thing that stumped me in this "belief" was Guilt and possibly Empathy. When i feel guilt it is because I feel bad about something i did to someone, that made them feel a certain way that i can empathize with, and remember how much i dont enjoy feeling that way. But then this can be seen as "natures moral compass", and therefore i come to the conclusion that we will then think twice about performing an act that may bring guilt upon our self. So we are refraining from acting against someone else for our own benefit, until that benefit becomes out weighed by whatever gain we'd experience upon acting out against someone.

So i am not saying that being kind or being bitter is wrong or right. I am just wondering what other peoples thoughts on this are. Because I've grown up with an idea that we are surviving together for an end goal. Much like working until you retire. You work and work and work and survive and then retire comfortably (or so the idea goes). But life to me seems to be ...work to work. Survive to survive. If we are acting for the soul purpose of keeping our physical self/body/conscious "alive", than what is the point...besides survival, when in the end we've failed anyway.

 

[marjoriedoor]

Hi Me & You.

I do understand your point - I too have done a lot of soul searching and have asked myself those questions and have occasionally felt in total agreement with you.

However, My sister committed suicide in 2008 and left behind two beautiful kids aged 14 & 16 - it was soo difficult to come to terms with and Im still trying. I now appreciate the role that reproduction in our lives and the purpose of our 'being' - watching my nephew and niece reminds me so much of my sister - she has left the most precious of gifts and lives on, in a way, through her children (they give me comfort and, help me make sense of her life and its purpose - they remind me so much of her). My sister's suicide has completely devastated my whole family - a total shock, but now so obvious.. I have a lot to learn because I seem to be one of the 'lucky' ones, I have never felt the urge to end my own life, despite hard times and several close bereavements; I have had huge difficulty coming to terms with what my sister must have been going through. Why didnt she come to me, my mum or other brothers and sisters for help? My lovely niece found her mum the next morning. Since then, our lives have been shattered. However, whatever stage of grieving I am living through (ie sadness, anger, guilt, shame, shock, disbelief, trauma, confusion, denial..), I can always be there for her children and I promise to look after them for as long as I live. It has been almost impossible helping them through this - let alone knowing how to provide the correct support, answers.. etc - they are now orphans and both feel quietly guilty (unjustifiably) for what my sister did - at the same time, I look at them at times and they have been an inspiration to carry on; at times coping better than the adults. They are her legacy -and in themselves provide more of a purpose than to simply 'survive'; I need to nurture and care for them, provide practical and emotional support. Hopefully, I'm making some sense/ you get my meaning? In time, we will hopefully all learn from whats happened and are 'changed' because of it. The strongest will make this change be for the better, hopefully. If myself and the other survivors of my sisters suicide can support each other, we can change for the better as a result - and help others change for the better. The world goes round, continues, goes on...but, hopefully for the better, each generation improving on the last.

Take care x

 

[Alexpt2]

So i am not saying that being kind or being bitter is wrong or right. I am just wondering what other peoples thoughts on this are. Because I've grown up with an idea that we are surviving together for an end goal. Much like working until you retire. You work and work and work and survive and then retire comfortably (or so the idea goes). But life to me seems to be ...work to work. Survive to survive. If we are acting for the soul purpose of keeping our physical self/body/conscious "alive", than what is the point...besides survival, when in the end we've failed anyway.

I've asked myself this same question many times. Since I'm not a believer in God, I don't think we're here for some great, divine purpose or anything or that our lives haves any special signifigance. I also wonder what the point is. Why even bother carrying on at all. What does it even matter how we live our lives since imo, we're all gonna end up in the same place in the end, that place being 6 ft under. What difference does it make how we get there?

Personally, I don't think there is a point to life per say. If your main goal is to get married and have children, then that becomes the point.....search for a mate, pass on your genes to your offspring, then you die. If your goal is to be rich, then the point is working real hard to accumulate as much wealth as possible, then you die. If your goal is simply survival, then the point is keeping yourself healthy so as to live as long as possible, then you die.

Basically I think the point is whatever you desire it to be. Life is about whatever you make it about. Thats it.