ok, im going to explain what i meant in my previous post 'messed up'. i have to get this out, my emotions and feelings are out of control and its very hard to cope with it. i am married, been together for 23 years, our relationship is ok, had our ups and downs but in general just ok. we have 4 kids. i have been talking to someone on sf since i joined, friendly stuff, but lately its gotten much more. i (we) have been very open and honest with each other, we both know everything about each other, he is not married but lives thousands of miles away. we have to be realistic we may never meet, we know that. i have never felt this way about anyone, he excites me, i get butterflies when we talk, i cant get him out my head, we both feel the same way. ive fallen for him in a really big way, we both say we love each other. i am in such a state of confusion. i do not advocate infidelity, in fact i know first hand what it feels like to be cheated on, my husband has done it to me, twice. anyway, i just needed to get that out, not sure i feel better but its out.