Love = Sex = Love?

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by itmahanh, May 22, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Are you one of those that are insane enough to equate sex to love? That two people love each other when they are making love? That making love proves your undying devotion to another? Love doesnt exist in sex and sex is usually just an act of trying to feel some sort of love. The two can not exist in the same time or place.
  2. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    I certainly wouldn't equate love with sex. That's not to say that if you were in love, sex would be all the more meaningful and powerful.

    But yea don't ever confuse wanting to have sex with someone as being in love. Two different parts of the brain....
  3. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    i disagree. i think there is sex, and there is making love... two different things in my mind...
  4. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I have heard that there is a difference between having sex and making love. As far as I can tell; I have only ever made love-- and not actually had 'sex' parse.
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    But if you are "making love" you are having sex. What defines the difference if the act of making love is with the intention of having sexual intercourse? Sex is sex. Love making is just another term for sex or intercourse is is not? Or in that sense love is equated to sex because to be making love you have to be having sex. The true meaning of love doesnt apply in that situation. Love is an emotional feeling. Sex is a physical one and in lovemaking you are on the most basic level of all satisfying a need to have sex. Somewhere in your mind you have linked having sex as a way of showing love. But that isnt what is really happening in that moment in time.
  6. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    You don't need to be in love to have sex, and you don't have to have sex to be in love. But that doesn't mean they can't exist at the same time. Saying they can't is just as bad as saying they always do.
  7. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    **I have been told** that having sex and making love are 2 different acts. You can have sex without having any feelings for the person you are doing the act with. After having sex; you don't think 'I love this person and want to be with them for the rest of my life...' < before, during and after you make love- you do think that.

    Some people may have sex with a person in order to feel like they are loved < but it isn't the same thing.
    ...And some people don't really give a shit about any of it and just want to get laid- and that's it. Love has nothing to do with it at all.
  8. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    But if you were both in love, and you had sex, wouldn't that be different (and amazing), rather than having sex with someone you felt nothing for?
    Would that be making love or having sex?

    I used to think they were completely different, like yourself. But I don't anymore, because it very much depends on who you're with. I definitely think there is love-making, but you can do that in so many ways- sex doesn't need to come into it.

    itmahanh- I thought that when I was 17. I ended up in a big mess.
    If I were in a relationship where there was no good sex, or no love, I'd leave. I should have done that many years ago, because sex is a means of communication- it's talking/connecting and having some sort of conversation. I lived in silence for about 7 years.
  9. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    love and lust are 2 totally different things.

    you dont love somebody you just met and want to get into their panties.
    that is not love, its lust.

    i ghate people who throw around the world love like its nothing.
  10. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    To me, sex is a form of intimacy. You might not be "in love" with the people you're with but you must still love them, if you go around having sex with them. lol :)
  11. Lovecraft

    Lovecraft Well-Known Member

    Love is a function of the brain that promotes safety and reproduction. Sex is, at least from the perspective of its 'purpose', to have children. Whatever the brain's expansive abilities decide are also true about it is completely subjective.
  12. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Couldnt have said my sentiments better!
  13. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I have never been able to separate the two, even when I tried to.
  14. denistar

    denistar Active Member

    +1 on what ghost said. :biggrin:

    By the way, has anyone read this poem by Sharon Olds? We discussed this in one of my literature classes back in uni. I think it fits quite well with this thread. I really like emboldened lines. I love the allusion it makes to the act of sex. And it does raise a really good question. At least for me, anyway.

    Sex Without Love

    How do they do it, the ones who make love
    without love? Beautiful as dancers,
    Gliding over each other like ice-skaters
    over the ice, fingers hooked
    inside each other's bodies, faces
    red as steak, wine, wet as the
    children at birth, whose mothers are going to
    give them away. How do they come to the
    come to the come to the God come to the
    still waters, and not love
    the one who came there with them, light
    rising slowly as steam off their joined
    These are the true religious,
    the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
    accept a false Messiah, love the
    priest instead of the God. They do not
    mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
    they are like great runners: they know they are alone
    with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
    the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio
    vascular health--just factors, like the partner
    in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
    single body alone in the universe
    against its own best time.

    -- Sharon Olds
    Last edited by a moderator: May 27, 2010
  15. Just_a_guy

    Just_a_guy Well-Known Member


    There is certainly a strong correlation between the two.
  16. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    your avatar just made my day- in a good way. and i'm having a very bad day.
  17. Just_a_guy

    Just_a_guy Well-Known Member

    Made more than one day for me :D
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.