love sucks

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by azrael316, Dec 31, 2010.

  1. azrael316

    azrael316 Member

    well im in love with my best friend.... but she doesnt feel the same way even though she admits emotionally we are perfect for rach other... we have all the same taste in life in general. she has even asked why she cant meet a man like me..... man does that hurt.... she already has a man like me..... ME. if he does meet someone she vannishes out of my life until it goes wrong and then she is back crying on my shoulder.

    i asked her once why she never tells me about meeting other guys and she said she doesnt want to hurt me because of how i feel about her...

    i asked her why she doesnt want to be with me and she says because if it goes wrong i couldnt stand to lose you.

    feel bitter unworthy and crap.....

    stupid thing is.... she is also the only person who makes me forget all the other shit in my life...
     
  2. Romancer

    Romancer Well-Known Member

    is there any chemistry between you two?
    i have a friend, and we are also in the same position, but just cause we're perfect for each other like that, doesn't mean we're gonna be a couple. having a friend like that is great actually. but at the same time it may hurt you.
    what i mean is, just cause you're great together, doesn't mean that you should automaticaly assume that you'd be a great couple or that there is love (more than friends). and usually we mistake the feelings of friendship for love, cause we get along so well with a certain friend.
     
  3. azrael316

    azrael316 Member

    thanks romancer... y know i hadnt looked ar it that way..... i think i need to really think about what you said.

    I think there is chemistry but maybe it IS just one way.

    thank you
     
  4. victor

    victor Account Closed

    brother, if u want a good advice - u wont like it - but if u stil wanna hear it: run as far as u can and as fast as u can.. if u can
     
  5. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    It sounds to me like you are more important to her than any lover.
     
  6. Romancer

    Romancer Well-Known Member

    >.< wtf?
     
  7. victor

    victor Account Closed

    as from what ive seen, such relationships is always a catch22
    my friend (not a friend really, we hate each other by now coz of a woman, but hes a good person) was in hospital 3 or 4 times, lost 8yrs of his life and basically was fucked in every possible way, coz he was 'best friends' with a woman he loved. exactly the same situation. he never understood why she never gave him a chance even tho she kept claiming the same - that she wishes she'd meet the guy like him.
    as 4 the person who started this thread - i know its hard 4 u, but if she wanted to be with u she would just go 4 it. n if she doesnt 4 any reasons n she wants u as a friend, while u luv her, that means pain, loads of pain 4 u. thats why i said to run
    its hard to accept that, i know
    and i wish u best luck, but from what ive seen - its a very painful relationship
     
  8. Romancer

    Romancer Well-Known Member

    lol, you seriously need to know the difference between lovers and friends, just cause one person doesn't know it, doesn't mean that it should be the end, you just need to make things clearer and see what it's really about. as far as i can see, OPs friend isnt giving him false hope.
    and why the f* ruin a good friendship cause they found a little problem, that can be fixed. running isn'always the solution. <.<
     
  9. victor

    victor Account Closed

    well i might be wrong, to know that Azrael needs to answer the question:
    can u see urself as being and staying only friends with her? could u move on find someone else n be happy n keep this friendship? if yes, then its all kk
    but if no, if ull keep on waiting 4 ur chance without moving on, then its not kk at all:(
     
  10. azrael316

    azrael316 Member

    wow... lots of different opinion here......thanks people i truely appreciate it

    i think what it comes down to is i need to create some space and think about what you have said.

    i know i love her... but if she cant feel the same way i have to find a way to deal....
     
  11. Romancer

    Romancer Well-Known Member

    imo, it's just a simple question if you like her more as a friend or as a lover, and if she means to you a lot as a friend, then find a way to keep her in your life ;)
     
  12. azrael316

    azrael316 Member

    well for me i cant be with someone in a love way who i cant be friends with as well. yes she does things that i have to bite my lip about....

    but you know what? when it comes down to it i dont mind because its all part of what makes her... well her and i wouldnt change it....

    not sure how i would feel if she was out of my life....

    i know she gets really weird if i mention other women though.... she says one thing but her face goes like thunder for a bit....

    see why im confused?
     
  13. victor

    victor Account Closed

    shit, thats scary. u sound exactly like my friend i was talkin about. she didnt want him to be with anyone either. when she was in relationships - she didnt care n didnt have time 4 him. when she was single, she wanted him to be constantly around n comfort her.. as a friend. but once he found a gf she was very upset, coz he couldnt give her that much attention. basically, she wanted him not to date anyone, but she didnt wanna be with him either. poor idiot wasted 8yrs of his life like that!
    i dunno bout ur girl, i hope shes not like that, but be careful
     
  14. azrael316

    azrael316 Member

    thats more or less how it is.... the time scale is almost exact too.... i have had other gfs in that time (including one horrible disaster... ask me about that sometime...lol) but i always knew that if she was to say the word i d ditch it all for her.... she know it too.
     
  15. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I'm in a similar situation - I told my best friend about my feelings for him a couple of nights ago and he doesn't feel the same way, despite the fact that most people say we'd make quite a cute couple. I don't really know how to help you in terms of advice, but basically you can't put your life on hold for someone who isn't interested in you like that. She needs to make a decision - to be with you or not be with you - and stick to it and stop all the comments about how perfect you are as a guy, etc., because she needs to know that it hurts you and if she's any kind of friend she'll want to avoid that as much as possible.
     
  16. azrael316

    azrael316 Member

    sorry to hear that avarice..... how are you dealing with it?

    if you dont mind me asking?
     
  17. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Worse than I thought I would. I figured I'd be able to just shove my feelings under the carpet once it was over with, 'cause I kinda already knew he didn't feel anything; I just wanted to get it off my chest, but now it's happened I feel really down and depressed about it for some silly reason. It's not like I didn't see his reaction coming, so I don't get why I'm brooding over it. It doesn't help that he's now avoiding me either! :laugh:
     
  18. azrael316

    azrael316 Member

    give him a couple of days... he may be giving you some space. could be a good thing for you....

    but it does start making you ask questions about yourself.... destructive questions.....
     
  19. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Could be. Thing is though, when you tell someone about your feelings for them, no matter how much you tell yourself you're not expecting anything from it, you still kinda do. Going back to how you were before becomes so much harder.

    I hope this girl gives you both a chance. Relationships can ruin friendships, but they can also make them so much better. :smile: