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love women...love men

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by butterflies32, Sep 20, 2009.

  1. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    I am confused.

    My best friend and I are really close. We are both straight and will date men but we both have a fear of going all the way with men and don't like to be touched by them if possible and we just urm don't feel that connection.

    We got together the other day and just touching her hand and cuddling her sent feelings that I have never felt before over my body...I wanted her to do more to me and I felt safe with her. And she felt the same.

    Quite often we'll have sex over the phone or internet because of our distance and being unable to see each other as much as we would like and she is senational. I love her to bits.

    Thing is I like men too I want children and a family with a guy...is the above just a phase or am I greedy by wanting both sexes?

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Good to talk with a sex therapist about that maybe you have some underlying issues that need to be brought up. Ithink your just confused about your sexual identity right now and hope with help you can figure things out. take care
  3. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    where would I find one of those?

    Am so confused.

    Is all ths wrong then?

  4. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    Looks like your just bi probably... doesnt hurt to be. Sounds like u want the qualities of a woman/your friend but with a guy instead I suppose. Im sure there's men out there like that too. Id just let ur heart take u where it wants... u never know what ull want after a while... things could be different... heart cant go wrong tho.
  5. 12years

    12years Well-Known Member

    I'd say it's just a phase. If you eventually want to have a family with a guy, the first step is to dare yourself to be intimate with them.

    Good guys are hard to find, though, so you have to be careful. It sounds like if your "first time" with a guy turns out to be a terrible experience you'll never want to be with another guy again.
  6. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    nothing wrong with that.

    it doesnt make you greedy, but it may also not be a phase. you said that you cant go all the way with men but you want a family... i can see why your confused especially with your atraction to your friend. the only advice i can give is that if it feels good go for it. just be careful. in all matters of the heart its so easy to get hurt. just follow your feelings, have fun, but keep your eyes open. only you can know the path that is right for you
  7. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    I have had lots of bad experiences with guys and I really don't trust them...ive yet to met a generally nice one.
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    A therapist that deals with sex issues can help you see things maybe you have buried and they are educated in these issues of sexual idenity. Ask your GP to refer you to a sex councillor they deal with all issues as well as sexual abuse Your GP will know ask him or your therapist you are seening now if you have one.
  9. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    I don't know if I wanna tlk bwt it all though. I mean on here none of u know me but the sex therapist will. Feel uuncomfortable with it all and yet i know it is something that I need to sort out.



  10. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    Well, just so u know, dont give up hope cause there are def nice guys out there. Im one.... and I know a couple friends that are too... but they are def a needle in a haystack. I think it's harder to find em cause they arent really advertising themselves in the public if that makes sense.
  11. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    wot do i do to get one...where are you all. :sad:
  12. 12years

    12years Well-Known Member

    I don't think you should consciously worry about finding guys to be in a relationship with--the "right guy" tends to come along when you're not looking anyway. In the meantime, live your life and enjoy it as much as possible--guy or no guy. Make friends with guys for the same reason you'd make friends with girls: companionship, not potential sexual partners. :)
  13. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    Well, kinda like 12years said above, I wouldnt worry too much about finding one... that's what gets ppl down. Someone will come along. Till then, just live ur life, meet new ppl, make new friends, and again, let ur heart take you where it wants. I mean, u may consider yourself straight now, but again, you may find you'll want to become bi later or something. Either way, making new girlfriends doesnt hurt no matter what. Nice guys... try online dating sites... your less likely to find jerks there cause all the jerks get girls in life anyways. See if there are any social groups in your area, nice guys goto those too. Again, dont look for them, but just make new friends and u may find one will develop into a relationship.