I went to a theme park with my family today, and it made me realise what a hopeless pathetic life I have. I saw a really cute girl at the railway station and she looked at me. I looked back for a short time then turned back to my family. After a while when I looked at her I saw her looking at me again. I quickly turned my head away. She probably looked at me a few more times. When I was sitting in the train and saw her walk away never to see her again, I realised she probably wasn't even looking at me, and if she was it was just because I'm so ugly and weird and because I was staring at her. She will never be my girlfriend. I'm so disconnected from the world. I was secretly hoping she would come to me and ask me for my phone number or something like that. So fucking stupid. -_- I'll never get a nice gf, cause I'll never be a normal person. Why am I like this? The themepark wasn't fun either, I had to pee badly but I had pee anxiety >< I went to the toilet like 15 times, but I couldn't fucking pee. Then I had some beer and being drunk I finally succeeded. Now I'm listening to a song called Love will find you, and I'm crying. Sorry for the boring, stupid rant in messed up English. Oh who am I kidding no one reads this shit. I don't know why I'm typing anymore. Anyways I'll be going on vacation monday and I planned to commit suicide then. I got caffeine pills, 10 grams of caffeine can be deadly but I got 130 grams. If that doesn't kill me then I'll just sniff glue till I die.