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Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by wienerman, Nov 18, 2006.

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  1. wienerman

    wienerman Guest

    love, i find it so strange, we have many different words in the english language that mean the same thing, yet why is there only one word for love?

    yea i know you can say things like fancy and cherish etc, but nothing is as over used as the word love, and it has been associated as being the strongest feeling to have for someone, and packs the most impact when said to another human being.

    but the problem is that fact, it just seems to be thrown around too much these days imo. when i say it i mean it, but when others say it it just means nothing. it seems the greater a word is used the less it truely means, like swear words. if they were used as often as say "the" all meaning would be void.

    it just confuses me, that word has been used around me so much lately i just dont think it means anything, its lost all meaning to me and i just dont trust it anymore. why cant we just establish a set of rule that means it is only used in appropriate situations, like when it is meant, like when i say it.

    also the problem is there are to many types of "love" how do you know which is meant? i have told one member here that i love then as if they were a sibling, as if she was my sister or even child (quite funny considering im 20 ans she is a few years younger) the thing is that i meant it when i said it, and it still stands.but i dont go round to everyone saying that i love them. its because i feel that the relationship is special between us, im not saying i dont care about anyone else, just she is special to me that worants such a strong word. if i said that i loved everyone here, that would just devalue what i said to her and just be an insult to the rest of you here.

    im really sorry for this rant, its just it kinda makes me angry when my version of the word love means more than someone else, so when i hear it said about me i take it seriously, when it obviously means nothing to the other person. why even say it to me if you dont mean it? and how can it be love, true love when it is felt for more than one person simultaneously. ugh, i just dont know what to belive anymore, just currently i have bad feelings associated with the word love, when it should mean ultimate happiness because it has caused me so much pain through my life.

  2. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    The greeks had 6 different 'love' words, eg "eros" was passionate love, "Storge" was companionate love etc.

    What really made most sense to me was a guy called Sternberg who said that 'love' consisted of three parts
    1) Liking (true friendship without passion)
    2) Infatuation (passionate love at first sight)
    3) Empty love (based on commitment alone)

    These can be combined. For example, when you say "i have told one member here that i love them as if they were a sibling", this may be a combination of (1) you have a friendship with them, and (3) you have decided to be there for them and help them regardless of who they are, there's probably a greek word for this but I don't know what it is, Sternberg calls this "Companionate love". If you want to find out more check out:

  3. wienerman

    wienerman Guest

    exactly, but we only have one word which justseems meaningless because of the way it is thrown around
  4. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I would never use the word "love" unless I really meant it. Your right its meant to be a very powerful and emotional word that sums up a very powerful connection between two people. I say I "love" my mother and father though, but of course thats differant.

    I would never say "I love you" to girl unless I really, really meant it...because I know the impact its meant to have.
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Same here MJ. Apart from my son who I love heaps and unconditionally, I only ever told one other person I loved them. they said the same but left anyway.
  6. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Hmmmm the love i have for people is generally for family and friends, never been 'in love' dunno what it would be if it came up to me and bit me on the arse :eek:hmy:

    :whack: love
  7. wienerman

    wienerman Guest

    i just wish others felt the same as us
  8. amee

    amee Active Member

    Apologies for the ranty, preachy, weird artist philosophy tone of this reply.

    It's just a subject that's fascinated me since my early teens, continues to do so now. None of this "matter of fact" tone is really meant to be definitive; I only state it this way because it's easier than starting every sentence with a disclaiming phrase.

    I identify it as a dedication to the well-being of another. This can take on many forms and formats, as long as that dedication and care stays in-tact.

    A few years back I was in a circle where we got close enough that we were like an extended family; the word "love" was tossed around, and meant, and when we were giddy over or physically attracted to someone, we'd simply show it.

    However, the giddiness and physical attraction were not as strong as the previously mentioned bloodless family bond. "New Relationship Energy" -- a chemical excitement at the beginning of a relationship -- fades naturally, whereas human dedication can be nurtured and kept in-tact. That effort constitutes love.

    Mind if I dare you to go without "the" for a week? ;)

    Nothing for it but to learn exactly who you're dealing with. People will always have different understandings of abstract meanings than you do, whether they bring those ideas up often or not.

    Know the person, know the context. If in doubt, ask. There's really no rule against it. :)

    It's kind of down to the amount of time and resources you have to dedicate, and how much your charges need. Around here, people will likely buddy up with one or two in particular, because everyone here needs very close attention and support.

    They do mean it. Just differently.

    Polyamory. Some people's love is cumulative. Time and resources may be another matter.

    Love is usually the thing that inspires you to face dragons with only a hair's breadth of hope. Love conquers despair, but only because it's there regardless of the circumstances. Love wouldn't be love if it couldn't stay standing through misery.

  9. wienerman

    wienerman Guest

    thanks for your input, i would reply to some of your points but i can be bothered to be honest, i do agree with most of your observations, but it was meant to be a vent for me and nothing else really.
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