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loved and lost my mom

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by lost1, Nov 8, 2006.

  1. lost1

    lost1 New Member

    I just need someone to talk to. My mom commit suicide five months ago. Two weeks after she passed away, I lost my grandfather, who was the only father figure I had in my life. He could not deal with my mom's death and stopped eating and taking his medication. My mom did what she did because of something I said. I blame myself for both of their deaths. This has turned my world upside down. How long does somebody feel grief, guilt, depression, total emptiness, and all of the other feelings that come when something like this happens? I sometimes feel like doing what my mom did. I have nightmares and keep seeing everything happening over and over again in my head. Is this normal? When will it stop? Everyone close to me thinks that I should be getting over it and getting on with my life, but I don't know if I can. Has anyone gone through this? Thanks to anyone who answers.
  2. music_addict

    music_addict Well-Known Member

    although i havent lost anyone to suicide i did lose both my parents to a car accident 8 years ago. and i hate to say it but if you really love someone then the pain of their loss will never fully go away. It will get better though. You'll definetely have your bad days but it will become easier to cope with the pain as time drags on.
    also, try not to feel too guilty, because even if she did actually do it because of what you said it was undoubtedly just the straw that broke the camel's back. Most people who commit suicide were feelings those thoughts way before they actually did it. and sometimes something fairly trivial can set them off.
    anyway, i hope that helps.
  3. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Hi there I'm so deeply sorry for the loss of your mother:sad: ,I don't know If anything I could possibly say to you could make you feel better at all.As was already said you may've said something to your mother but it wouldn't of been that alone that made your mother take her own life I feel pretty sure of that.In terms of how long it will take to feel the sad emotions that I doubt anyone could answer and would be an ongoing suffering experience.
    If you would like to talk I'm always here for you to try and be as much help as I can.What I can say is that I hope you try to stay strong and lean on anyone of us,give yourself time and feel free to let yourself open up if you feel it will help or that crying could release any of your pain.But do not feel alone in suffering please I feel you can get on with your life but in due course and in time and I understand the pain you're feeling and the emotions that are coming with it and can see of course that it's no easy road.
    If you have msn you can also add me on Milansteve@yahoo.com.au

    P.S Please hang tight always here for you and in my thoughts!
  4. ~Serendipity~

    ~Serendipity~ Active Member

    Hi Lost

    I am sorry to read about your mom and grandfather.
    What you are feeling is very normal ... you are grieving. I have been there myself and I am still there but the pain does ease with time. I know exactly what you are saying about the guilt and blaming yourself as I again had these same thoughts ... but you are NOT to blame and you will realise this with time, it is still early days for you and each of us deal with things in our own way so dont take any notice of others when they say to get over it !! you must take as long as you need to heal, and you will get there so don't lose hope that one day you will be able to remember without the pain ... you will of course always miss them but one day you will be thinking about fond memories and realise you are smiling and the tears are not there :smile:

    If you feel the need to chat please PM me xxx

    Take care